This video library documents my intentional pursuit of becoming the best version of myself. Every episode captures the lessons, successes, failures, questions, and conversations that are shaping me into a better husband, father, leader, and man.
My greatest goal isn't fame or recognition.
It's to become the husband my wife deserves, the father my children can always depend on, and an example that inspires others to pursue intentional growth.
Along this journey, I'm committed to mastering one of the most powerful skills a person can possess—communication. I believe the way we communicate shapes our relationships, our families, our communities, and ultimately, our lives.
I know this work will never be finished.
That's the point.
Growth isn't a destination. It's a lifelong commitment.
If you're willing to challenge your thinking, embrace accountability, and become better than you were yesterday, I invite you to walk with me.
Chaos doesn’t usually come from one huge mistake. It comes from a few small skills we never trained, repeated every day, until they turn into our “normal.” That’s why we lean on a simple framework I call CAD: Communication, Activity, Diet, and Emotional Intelligence. It’s not a motivational speech. It’s a practical set of habits you can measure, practice, and improve, even if you feel behind right now.
We start with communication because it touches everything: marriage, friendships, work, and the way you carry yourself. Just speaking English doesn’t mean people understand you. We talk tone, cadence, pauses, silence, facial expressions, and why most conflict is really misunderstanding stacked on top of ego. Then we get physical with activity: a real-world baseline of 8,000 to 10,000 steps, hydration guidance, and why dehydration can feel like hunger. We also get honest about stretching as we age and how meditation can help, even if you’re still figuring out what style works.
From there we move into diet and discipline. I share what I learned from trying different approaches like vegan and Mediterranean, and why “any diet works if you complete it” is both true and uncomfortable. Finally, we dig into emotional intelligence: journaling, therapy, and how earlier experiences can shape anger, reactions, and the excuses that keep you stuck. The goal is maturity on purpose so you make fewer avoidable mistakes and build a life you’re proud of.
If CAD hit home, subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a review with the one letter you’re working on first.
What up, Doe, and welcome back to I'm Growing Man, Shman Giant D in the building. Uh today's episode is me focusing on hypothetically, if somebody were to stumble on this video and wanted some guidance, I would suggest these things. And a lot of you guys already know it, but I decided to recover it because I recently had a conversation with a group of men where they were looking on ways to focus on themselves. And I
created this acronym since everybody uses them, CAD, C-A-D-E, where C is for communication, A is for activity, D is for diet, and E is for emotional intelligence.
Now, the communication aspect, if you work on communication intentionally every single day, you will improve. This not only helps you, but anybody you come in contact with, it allows you to reduce the amount of time that you could possibly be wasting. What what is this when you're working on communication, what does it look like? It looks like you understanding that you can improve. A lot of times we assume because we speak the same language that the other person understands what we're saying. And has probably the biggest misconception in communication. So what I've learned that if you work on it intentionally, and this is how I do it, I watch YouTube videos of different ways we communicate. For example, whether it's tone, cadence, delivery, remaining silent, body expressions, facial expressions, how fast you say something when you s like if you don't slow down, uh pause in three seconds to process. A lot of times we don't process and we respond in a way that looks thoughtless because we are creatures of habits and we have a lot of bad ones when it comes to communicating. So what I've determined is the mastery of communication is probably the most effective tool to reduce chaos. If somebody understands what you're saying, I truly believe people would help. But being that we don't know how to communicate effectively, we tend to not do it enough, like as far as the practice. I've learned how important communication was with the journey with my wife. I truly believe she and I have created a relationship that has not been documented. And it's through just effective communication. And when I say that again, we were not effective. Well, I wasn't an effective communicator at all. And I I do realize that majority of men aren't effective communicators. And if we worked on it, I do believe all of our relationships would improve. But we have to be open-minded to being wrong about what we know in this life. Communication is the key to diving deeper into things that we haven't even been able to get into because we're not effective communicators. So that is something that every man and woman could work on, specifically men. If we decided to work on communication, I promise the world would change.
The second one is activity. Activity can look like a lot of things, but the bare minimum you should be getting eight to ten thousand steps a day. You should be drinking half your body weight in ounces of water. Now, if you're pretty big, that's a lot of water, right? You should not be going over I can't even tell you what you shouldn't be going over because I'm not for sure. But I do know if you're in a place where you can drink half your body weight in water, this will reduce a lot of a lot of the signs in your body that think but that makes you believe that you're hungry when it's just dehydration. If you drink water on a regular basis throughout the day, trying to get to half your body weight in ounces of water, you will reduce that sensory that says you're hungry. And this will help regulate your body where you will use the restroom regularly and it cleans it out. And that's what I've learned over these years. I don't think enough people talk about it or practice it. Half your body weight in ounces of water. And and I don't know if it's more or less, but I do know this is what worked for me, and I do know that it's worked for other people. Um like I said, once you start getting into the heavier weights, I'm not for sure if one body could drink that much water. And I I want you to know there's a lot of use in a restaurant, and until you your body understands how to regulate, prepare for that. But drinking half your body weight in water will help regulate your body to a degree. Other activities we need to stretch. As we get older, a lot of times we just jump out of the bed, and that goes for me, because I'm not stretching either, and I need to
do that. Uh, meditation. I truly believe meditation is valuable to us. Although I can't say I understand the benefits because I haven't experienced them, but I do believe that those who promote this know something, and I want to be a part of it, so I'm going to continue practice meditating. I practice at least five times a week, and it could look different, you know. Now that I'm learning from different people who meditate, a lot of times you hear this idea that you have to just not think about anything. You're just supposed to be blank, but there's different forms of it. You know, that's just one form, and I don't want a particular style to deter people from finding what works for them. Because the one that everybody talks about where you just want a blank mind, that is very difficult. And I think that comes from a seasoned practice of meditators, because you're just not going to find that. And if you are, you might be one of the blessed ones, but I am definitely still trying to find that one. But I do know that there's different forms that you will benefit from.
The diet, that is the D. The diet is this is what I know. You can choose any diet you want, it'll work if you complete it. I think this is probably the most difficult feat for the human body because unless your parents were aware and put you in a position to not worry about that later in life, this is a beast. Because delicious foods, I I tell people delicious foods are a drug. You know, people say I take that too far, but you know it's bad for you, but you continue to eat in excess of it. So isn't that like a drug? You're still doing it, and and this is what I want you to know. If you master the diet, you can eat whatever you want. The problem is that we overindulge in things that kind of messes up the systems. You know, you can say that your parents only knew what they knew, but when you become an adult, you're responsible for your own learning. And if you're not looking for new information, you believe you know everything. So that is a limited mindset. And in order to have a growth mindset, you have to be open-minded to being wrong. And that's probably the most eye-opening part. If you could just understand everything, you stand ten toes deep. Just imagine if you're standing on the wrong side because nobody challenged you. There are a lot of things in our life were given to us by our parents and the information of the time that we were in. But there's so much more information, and it's on you to look for more information. So you have to take your body seriously. You have to watch what you put in it. And if you don't, your life is going to be shorter than it's supposed to be, and you won't get the fruits that you believe you deserve. The diet is so key because you can work on communication and you can have the activity, but if you don't watch your diet, it could break down your body that's going to cause life to become very difficult. And you only know what you know, right? So find more information on a diet, master it. And this is one thing that I noticed because I I was a vegan for a couple of years, maybe a year and a half, a vegetarian. Um, I was a vegan for a couple of years, as a matter of fact. But what I've noticed that through all of them, all of them work. I I did pescatarian, I did um a Mediterranean for a little bit. And if you want to increase the quality of your life, you have to limit the foods that are not good for you. People say good for you is relative, but it's just too much information out there for people to be arguing poor eating habits. I see the foodies and I see the people that overeat, and it just blows my mind on what the human body can do. And I'm just worried about us pushing the limit so early where we don't enjoy the older part of life that that I feel like I'm looking forward to. I feel like the older I've gotten, the more I appreciate where I've gotten to, because I'm working to create something that we haven't seen. And I'm confident in it because I know the work that I'm doing.
And all of you guys, if you are truly putting in that work, you just have to monitor, write things down. It's almost like you're going to school and you're holding yourself accountable. You have to write down, I told my friend, write down five of your worst habits and be prepared to replace them with something else. Because if you don't, the human body typically defaults into old settings where we'll be back at our old habits. And he was like, I'm not gonna ever get past this. You have to have something to replace it with. Going cold turkey, it's possible, but it's probably the most difficult way of doing something. You've been doing something your whole life, and in order to change it, you have to truly understand to go cold turkey. And it's very possible. As long as you understand it and it's not beating you up, go for it. But you have to monitor yourself. Uh at school, the administrators they say, if you're not monitoring, how is it getting better? Because it's almost like we're trying to expect things to develop on its own. And things don't necessarily work like that. So we have to be accountable of ourselves. I sent a text message to my guy this morning. Said, just got done with my routine. I'm about to shoot an episode, um, be great on purpose. He responded, said, Man, I just got done with prayer, uh, just wrote some things down, and you know, he's you're ready to get his day started, be great on purpose. And that's what it's all about. The intentional effort of becoming closer to what you believe you could become. Because everybody has the potential to become really cold. It just has to be intentional.
So the last letter is E, emotional intelligence. I was just mentioning journaling. I can't say I know what journaling's done for me, but I know that I've gotten a lot of thoughts out where I'm able to articulate better. My message is easier to receive. Because I'm telling you, I come in peace. And if this message, you don't like the message, it really probably wasn't for you. And that's what I want people to know when I'm speaking. I'm only trying to help somebody that possibly could need it. I am being the version of myself that I thought I needed when I was growing up. I made a lot of mistakes along the way. And I made those mistakes because I don't think I had the guidance that I needed. So I believe God protected me because he truly believed that I didn't have the protection that I needed to get out. For me to be here is a complete blessing because my father only knew so much. My mother only knew so much. So I made a lot of mistakes because by the age of 22, I really thought I was smarter than my father. Because I like about to graduate from college, I didn't have any kids, I was so much further than him, so talking to him, it was really limited interaction. I guess he created this monster, unfortunately. I was so arrogant. And like I said, you know, I told my therapist he deserved a better son. And she was like, Why you deserved a better father? And I said, I absolutely did, but he didn't have it. You know, so how am I gonna hold him accountable for something that he didn't have? And she was like, You I think you take too much responsibility for others. It's not that. I just believe we all have the potential to mature earlier than others if we understand things. So these videos I create is to help people understand that they're important regardless of who's parenting them. You can make better decisions. You have to first invest in yourself. Communication, activity, diet, and emotional intelligence. Therapy is the key part in dissecting your emotional intelligence. And the reason why I believe that, because when you go to therapy, these people go to school to learn information to help you unlock things you can't even see.
And once you do that, so I told my wife that I didn't like I stopped crying maybe at like seven because people talked about me so bad that it created a different skin. So I became the terror, and I used to beat the dead horse. I didn't let it go because I felt like nobody protected my feelings. And I didn't know this at the time. It's just how I internalize things looking back. I became really tough. I fought a lot and got to the point where I was pretty good at fighting, and I was good enough where I didn't run from problems that weren't even mine. I'm like, I ain't scared, so I ain't going nowhere. And I found myself in situations where I probably shouldn't have been in. And I just feel like if I would have found therapy sooner, I wouldn't have been so angry about things. And and I now understand what people say I'm angry, I look angry, and I respond angrily because I you you kind of compare yourself to the idea, what if I didn't go through this? What could I have gotten? Now I do know that without my experience, I couldn't have gotten here. And everything happens for a reason. So I'm even taking therapy now. So I'm I push this message. I don't know how much longer I would have to, but my wife has joined me, and she's given the therapist more information so that she can use whatever she has to help my blind spots. And I feel like the only way I can truly like find mastery within myself is to understand completely why I was acting the way that I was and why I didn't have all of the information to get here sooner. And I think once I come into full understanding, I'll be able to share better information. Because if you don't do this for yourself, how do you get to where you're going? Life is your own effort. And only you know what you're doing when nobody's looking. So you have to be accountable for yourself. Not being accountable for yourself allows you to create excuses, and those are forms of weakness that build bridges that lead to nowhere. Those who use these tools of incompetence are masters of nothingness. And I learned that in college and I still believe in it. However, I didn't understand all of that until I really stopped making excuses. And when you stop making excuses, you are more accountable for your actions. A lot of times we make excuses because it's just a bad practice. But if you truly want a different result, you have to figure out why you're making excuses. Some of us are not good in several areas. And it's okay. Because if you were good in it, you'd be in a different place. You just gotta put the work in. I was talking to another friend of mine yesterday, and I was just telling him how cold he was in so many different areas. Um, and he pushed me to get cold in these areas. But I realized he wasn't gifted. He just had more time in it. He put more time than he understood, he figured things out, and I learned differently.
So I I created a routine to work on this thing we call communication so that people are able to receive a message that can help them grow beyond their own thought capacity. Because I'm telling you, the where I am today, I had no idea I could get here. And I give my wife all of the credit in the world because she helped me mature in areas that I didn't even know I was immature in. And she had the grace and the patience for me to grow up. So now I'm forever dedicated to showing my appreciation on a daily basis. Because, again, I don't feel this way without her having the patience for me to grow up. And and you know, a lot of men don't know that maturity is a blessing. When you mature, you don't make mistakes that can endanger your family. Not on purpose, at least. When you don't know how to move, you move like those you think are moving correctly. But those examples have torn up families for thousands of years. This is not a game. So, before I get out of here, challenging all of you guys, work on CAD, communication, activity, diet, emotional intelligence. This will help you mature in areas to reduce the mistakes that you continue to make. Y'all make today better than yesterday. Don't worry about anything you can't control. G A T A. Get after that action, or that action will get after you. Be great on purpose.
