180 Be Great On Purpose

You can’t keep saying you want more while living like the process doesn’t matter. I’m coming to you with a simple framework I call CAD: communication, activity, diet, and emotional intelligence. When those four areas get real attention, everything else gets easier to see. You start noticing the distractions, the weak habits, and the ways you’ve been waiting on accidents instead of building intention.

I also get personal about chasing dreams as an adult and what it feels like to realize you didn’t have enough information when you were younger. The goal isn’t to shame your past, it’s to build a routine that makes you stronger now. We talk about why diet is one of the best “discipline trainers” you can choose, how research creates real accountability, and why finishing any process teaches you how to finish the next one. If you want better results, you don’t need a new identity, you need consistent work that doesn’t compromise who you are.

Then I go deep on marriage, conversation, and what happens when you stack thousands of hours of intentional talk with your partner. Trips and gifts don’t replace real connection. If you don’t look forward to talking, you haven’t put in the time. I explain how boundaries, emotional maturity, and daily communication can turn your relationship into the foundation your kids have never seen, and why that kind of home life makes you better everywhere else.

If this hits, subscribe, share it with one person who needs a push, and leave a review so more people can find the message. What distraction are you cutting first?

Transcript

New Format And CAD Focus

SPEAKER_00 0:12

What up, though? And welcome back to I'm Growing Man, Shaman John D in the building. So, new format, trying something out, the background and change. I'm just trying to see if I can sit over here and talk to you guys. And with that being said, I'm gonna talk about something a little different that I don't normally talk about, but it's still related to everything I'm promoting. That's CAD, C A D E, that's communication activity, uh, your diet and emotional intelligence. I truly believe that as a human, if you made this a part of your daily activities, like the things that you worked on on a regular basis, that you would change everything for uh people after you. I think that we can get so distracted with the things around us that we don't realize how important we are. I I do believe, you know, you do have to have parents that are aware enough to be able to give you the information you need so that you can become that cold in whatever you want to do. And there's a lot of people that's cold, but this information is for those who are looking to be cold and something and just don't know what it is, right? I always thought about like chasing my dreams. Like I didn't chase, like I guess becoming a basketball player, that was the only thing, but I didn't even put the work in it that anybody who thought they were supposed to be good in it. Like I just didn't have enough information. I was delusional. I was so delusional that it took me a long time to realize that I didn't have a chance, I didn't have a shot. And you know what is so crazy. Remember, I was with some high school friends of mine, and I was like, it took me to college before I realized I wasn't gonna go to the NBA. And when I was like, what took you so long? And you know, somebody else looked at him and was like, dang, that was mean, right? And I was just thinking, like, like, I really did think I was that good, but everything like being delusional allowed me to learn a process. And I think it just carried on throughout my life, but I did learn a process. I realized if you don't have what you think you deserve, it's because you haven't completed the process. And if you can complete any process, you will take that where wherever you go. So you will eventually get what you want. You just have to know what it takes to complete a process. Probably one of the best things you could ever do to complete a process is to diet. And the reason why I say that, because no matter where you are in life, you should want to take care of your body. But if you don't have enough information, you'll just allow delicious foods to take over. And you'll hear all kinds of messages like you only live once, and you know, it's you you're supposed to live how you want. But at the end of the day, your health is wealth. And I know you've heard that before, but people don't know how to practice it. So this isn't, I'm not here to tell you how to practice anything, just telling you if you if you want something, you have to complete the process. And I believe that the diet is probably one of the most, it's probably the best thing you could ever do if you if you could complete that part. Because your body benefits so much, you think differently, and you'll realize the distractions around you. And not only that, once you get on whatever path you're on, you're gonna know it's a process, right? So I'll give you an example of my process just to show you like what I plan on doing. And since I'm working on the things I've been communicating to all of you guys, been like doing it for the last five, you know, six or seven years, I'm gonna do it for the rest of my life. Like, I plan on becoming extremely cold in so many different things. First of all, communication, the relationship with my wife, parenting with my wife to our children, being a better administrator at school, being a better colleague to my colleagues. Using every moment to create an opportunity of learning or shared growth with others. Like to me, I feel like if you don't do it on purpose, you're hoping for an accident or you're hoping that somebody's supposed to just take you by the side and be like, hey, you should do it this way. And it's not always like that. So I do feel that the point of this podcast today, this episode, was to inform you. I want everybody to know what it's like to chase a dream as an adult. You have to take care of your body, though. If you're not taking care of your body, if you did find the formula, would your body last the process that it takes to complete for you to get what you think you want? Like, I came on here really to kind of tell you guys, I don't want to sell you guys of how important you are, but I remember not knowing my purpose, and I realized the only purpose everyone needs is just to improve themselves. Like if you improved yourself to become better, the results in your life is unwritten. Everything is talking about what we've already done in the past. But imagine if you dedicated two or three hours a day strictly just working on you. Read, write, you know, look up a diet and do research on it. See why you're supposed to do something. When you do the research on yourself, the investment is different. You're not taking somebody else's word. You're actually going to see what's best for you. It's like a an accountability thing for you. And that's why I realized like the life I used to live, it was dangerous. You know, dangerous to where I wouldn't be here promoting this message. And if I was, who would believe me if I destroyed everything I had? It's like, what is he talking about? But I'm telling you, I'm standing here. I am probably the happiest man in the world. And I'm gonna tell you why I'm the happiest man in the world. Like I have an investment in my family that's built differently. I know the more hours me and my wife converse, the colder we become as a relationship. Like I know we're over 10,000 hours. I know. We got to. If we're not, I'd be very surprised. But I know, like, we're gonna, like, my kids are about to leave, and I just be thinking about it, it's just gonna be me and her at some point. We're gonna be able to like retire from everyday work and like invest times and just just travel. Well, we already've done that, but travel in different capacity now because the relationship we're creating is like it's unwritten in a relationship like my wife and I. I gotta tell you this. Like, I look forward to the conversation she and I are gonna have after I get done shooting this. Me and don't be talking about like that. You don't say nothing like that. Because I didn't used to say that. And she and I had great conversations before. But what I realize, there's a threshold of conversations that you have to produce on purpose, where you guys learn each other and you unlock parts of yourselves to each other where you enjoy the company differently. Like, now I want you to know this. If men are truly interested in removing distractions that's preventing them from being who they should be coming, they have to believe their relationship is only as good as the time they put into it. And I'm not talking about taking them on trips or buying them this, going out to eat. I'm talking about true conversations, just learning about each other. Like, dang, I didn't know you you thought like that. And then you'd be like, oh, I guess I could have figured you thought like that because you knew how they were raised, or you knew a particular part. Like it's it's a it's a different feeling. Now, mind you, let me get this out. My wife and I, we've known each other 26, what is it? I've known her a long time. But we'll be married 18 years in June. And the last seven years of my life has has made me want to talk about it. Now think about this. I'm not looking for problems or anything like that. I just want to share some information that I know that if we approached relationships differently and we actually worked on them intentionally, we would get a different result that hasn't been written. Because nobody talked about this. And the relationship I have with my wife, I know that men would rather feel like I do than they do. Because no matter how happy you believe you are, if you're in a relationship with a woman and you don't look forward to just conversing, you haven't spoken to them enough. And I've definitely been in my fair share of groups of men where they think women talk too much. But I tell you this, if you learned your partner, you guys can have conversations without even talking. Because that's how much you've talked. And I told her, I was like, just think about this. We we like dedicate at least two to three hours every single day, you know, catching up, what we're thinking about, anything. So it's just hours just we accumulate, right? But like weekends or vacations, like we talk to each other even longer. Like when we work on the yard, we're talking to each other and we're building. It is a different type of relationship. But if you don't do your diligence at the beginning, it's a tough road to get here because it's a tough road. I'm not saying you can't do it, but it's you just gotta put in a different type of work. So be careful. But chasing your dreams, which I am, I am chasing an idea that by the time it's time for me to go, that men will do a better job at picking a woman that they feel like they can converse with so that they become foundation of communication for your family. Think about it. Like most people in my generation, they got a lot of whoopings and a lot of physical abuse, mental, verbal abuse, and then when we had kids, we tried to become the parents that we thought we needed when we were younger. I'm not saying that everything was bad when I was younger, but a lot of it was. So I even practiced some of the bad behaviors until I realized, you know, it's always a better way to do something. And that's it. I'm not telling you what to do, but I want you to know it's always a better way to do something. Literally, like it's always a better way to do something. And if you haven't thought about it, you're not really trying to win. Now, mind you, if anybody's offended by anything I'm saying, I'm only talking to the people that's w that want to receive the message. And I want to show, check this out. I can't, I was in Houston last week. And that was a beautiful city. Shout out to Houston. Shout out to Lil John, he showed us a good time. Rest in peace to Mama Jean. Shout out to my uh college roommate J Hyde. I got distracted. See, that's what I'm talking about. I can't believe I did that to myself. I don't know. Gosh, I'm so disappointed. Anyways, the relationship I've created with my wife, I want everybody to have. Because I know this. If the the amount of work I put into the the to get it here, and I do want you to know, it was all on purpose. Now. You can't get here now. So now there's different levels to what I'm talking about. So depending on where you are in your life, I know that my wife and I have a relationship that hasn't been written, and we're gonna continue to, you know, try to become better at doing what we do. But I know that if men truly knew how I felt on the inside and knew my past, they would be like, he might be telling the truth. And this is this is Dynasty Guy Truth. I love my wife so much that I want her to become the happiest woman in the world because of my intentional effort to do that for her. Like I'm doing it on purpose. I want her to feel like, man, no other man in the world would do this. I want to do that for her. And you know, some people might be like, that's corny, but I'm living my life in a in a position that me and my wife are creating this relationship that is cold. Like, I go to sleep happy, and I wake up even happier because I get a chance to be even colder than I was the day before. Think about that. That's how I think now, and that's in anything that I do. Like, I got a specific routine of things that I do, and my wife is a part of my routine where we're just separating ourselves from the pack. Like, if anybody says, you know what, I'ma see if I can get 10,000 hours for my wife and watch this relationship. If anybody decides to take on that role, they will be grateful that they started at that time because if you don't, you kind of waste being married. Marriage is pointless if you don't like the person you're talking to. It's pointless. It's more than raising kids. You're being an example for the little people in your household. You know what I'm saying? Marriage is pointless if y'all don't enjoy conversing with each other. If you can't look for, like, check this out. I can give my all at work because I know I get to go home and talk to that woman. And it ain't even me just like, what, venting? Because I don't, I'm not mad at work or anything. I'm always, she's like kind of like my sounding board where I can find ways to improve to become a better administrator. Now, listen to that. She will sit and talk to me every single night about ways I can present myself in a better way for to be received so that our school can grow. Like, that's the person I got in my house. Like, and then, like, let's say we we're done talking about that. We can talk about what's going on at her job and how she's approaching, the different moves she's making. And then we could talk about being parents, or we could talk about like whatever we're currently watching. And so, if men knew that it was actually a feeling that can make them be like, you mean I can feel like that and it won't like check this out. I'm probably the coolest dude ever on everything I love. Like, a lot of these guys on TV, like, like I I used to, I know going, like, I was an arrogant dude, and I was arrogant for no reason. And now I'm so confident in the relationships that I have with my wife, is that I can articulate in a manner where hopefully some people can receive and be like, man, he tells, like, he knows what he's talking about. I'm telling you, if you work on it, it'll get better. If you don't work on it, or you're hoping the other person is supposed to do more work than you because you've already done all the work you could do. Hey, you gotta re-evaluate your life. You know what I'm saying? So people that have not took that step into a relationship, understand this. I don't care how happy you are, you can become happier. I'm telling you, you can become happier. You gotta have some rules, set up some boundaries, and become the relationship that your family's never seen. Nobody, nobody in your family has seen a relationship that actually works intentionally. And if you have, I would love to meet them. Because I have questions. Because like I want to know what it looked like. Where how far along are they? Because in my mind, the relationship my wife and I have, I think all women want it. I do believe that. But I don't know if me well, I do know, men don't know how to get here because the messages we learned. Because I'll tell you, I don't I don't really practice the messages that I grew up learning. And when I was young, I was so immature. And I really did only want what I want. And in some reason I was blessed enough to get to this point, but it wasn't worth it. Like, the life that I was living, it was a bunch of bad messages. Like, nineties was a tough place to be as a teen. Like if you was a teen in the nineties, you learned a lot of bad messages. And specifically men. You know, I remember there was a time where people wanted to be a pimp or a player. Like, that's crazy. Especially in today's day and time. Can you imagine? So I learned that relationships are for mature people, and I was very immature. I was mature enough to know. No, I wasn't. It took me like 41 years, 40, 41 years to truly mature. And now that I matured, I I realize I wasted so many years like being distracted. That's what this was really about. You gotta know what your distractions are and it's preventing you from becoming so cold at something that you don't have to chase money anymore. I have to just become better at the things that I do until I can generate enough money where it makes sense. And that's what I think. We're so distracted that we can't we can't work on ourselves. And as you work on yourself intentionally, you get everything you're supposed to get. Like I said, if you don't got it, it's because you haven't done what was necessary. And when I say that, you don't have to compromise yourself. Really, it's just a really solid routine, some commitment, and to believe you're important enough to get it done so that you can see the results that you are looking for. How about this? Those of you that are upset about where you are in life, you can change it. It can be faster than you think. It's just gonna be long in the beginning because you have to believe you're important enough to get out of that to be able to tell it. But if you stay in it, it's like you lost. I don't want any of you to lose. You just have to believe you're important enough to be able to tell it. You know, um, it's been some tragic stories, how people grew up, and and it's it's sad. And I don't want you to feel like you have to fall victim to it, because your story is probably better than anybody's. But it won't matter if you don't believe it's important enough to tell. So you guys have to, if you're gonna chase your dreams, understand it's a process, put yourself first. And when I say put yourself first, it's not like hating on somebody else, or it's it's like taking care of business. Like if you stop in the middle of the day, like, what should I be doing? And you're not doing it, you're not taking care of business. People be standing on the wrong business. They be loyal to the wrong things, be worried about the wrong things. I promise. Grown people be worried about the wrong things. Like I I'm not Yeah. Sometimes I have to censor myself because sometimes I speak so matter-of-factly, like, and I don't want to chase anybody away. I just want you to know that you can't get what you want if you don't put the work in. And the work will not compromise you, it would only make you better. So if you're out here cheating, understand it's gonna catch up. It catches up with everybody. So if you're not doing the right things, the wrong things will start happening. And you'll be like, what happened? I'm telling you. Like, what goes up must come down. I'm telling you. It's like a balance to the world. So if you do more good, like if you do it on purpose and intentional, like I'm not saying you're gonna get rewarded, but I believe you'll enjoy the life more. Because when you're able to give, that's a different thank you. Y'all make today better than yesterday. Don't worry about anything you can't control. G A T A. Get after that action, or the action will get after you. Be great on purpose.