171 Own Your Future Through Daily Effort

What if predicting your future wasn’t magic but math you can control? We dive into the simple equation of effort, time, and routine to show how anyone can get “super cold” at a craft without selling their soul or their family time. Sparked by a friend who calls future talk “lies,” we unpack why skepticism grows when you can’t see your own reps and how a clear routine turns hope into proof.

I share the pivot that came from moving abroad and realizing that prestige isn’t the prize — freedom is. We talk about choosing aligned ambition over shiny titles, designing days that protect what matters, and building a practice sturdy enough to carry real goals. Mastery isn’t about hype or luck; it’s the quiet hours that compound. From Kobe’s relentless reps to everyday choices like leaving early and driving with the flow, we connect mindset to method so your calendar reflects your priorities.

The heart of this conversation is communication. I own past mistakes with unsolicited advice and show how to turn hard truths into messages that land. We explore how tone shapes trust, why many conflicts are just failed delivery, and how better words create real peace at home, at work, and in the classroom. Losing becomes data, not identity. Time becomes currency, not a blur. And confidence becomes memory of valid reps.

If you’ve been waiting for a sign to bet on yourself, let this be the plan: audit your time, pick one habit that moves the needle, and stack it daily. Subscribe for more practical mindset shifts, share this with someone who needs a push, and leave a review to tell us the next skill you’re ready to get cold at.

Transcript

Welcome And Why Merch Can Wait

A Friend’s Doubt Sparks The Theme

Predicting The Future With Routine

Chasing Titles Vs Choosing Time

Defining “Super Cold” Mastery

Family First And Craft Second

Letting Growth Market Itself

Role Models, Age, And Perspective

Losing As A Teacher, Not A Label

Time As The Only Real Currency

Documented Growth In Communication

Teaching Confidence Through Practice

Boundaries, Safety, And Leaving Early

SPEAKER_00 0:12

What up, Doe? And welcome back to I'm Growing, Man. It's your man, John D, and the building. Y'all see it? Y'all see the merch coming. Nah, I'm just playing. I got this free. I do want to get them, but they're so expensive, and I ain't got enough money to be doing all of that. So understand this. If I do get some merch, I already got people that want to buy it, but I want to hopefully get into some type of partnership where I don't have to be responsible for the day-to-day interaction of selling merch. I know it's some good money in it, but I'm not really out here on a money grab. I really just want to fine-tune my perspective on life and improve. And I believe through that is going to allow me to understand the effort that I'm actually trying to show in real time. You know, the point of this, well, the motivation or the inspiration of this podcast came from a friend of mine who's going through some tough times right now, but you know, a lot of times on my post, on my social media posts, he may respond uh very negatively. And I often wonder what type of energy am I giving out? And I was just thinking about it's my perspective. My perspective now allows me to kind of, I don't want to say tolerate people because it sounds like I don't want to be there. But it allows me to have a lot more patience for people, no matter where they are. Now, I do want to say I don't intentionally waste my time on anybody. Um there are people that are no longer in my life, and I'm not gonna say I don't have time for them, but right now, this season plays that, you know, it's it's it's filled. So the people that I interact with, it's intentional. So, like I said, this person is on some tough times, and in my perspective, he doesn't realize how important he is. Like, like for real, for real. Like, if he was the were to actually sit back and observe, he would understand. But his his life is so distracted by the things he he believes he wants. So he responded on one of my posts, like he said, lies, and I'm like, like, where are the lies? It was it was a video. I don't know, I can't remember what I was actually talking about. No, I do. So it was me just talking about the effort that you put in can create results and attract the energy you deserve. And he said, anything that has to deal with the future, I put it in a box. It's just lies. And that's the that's what the inspiration of this show is, because I want to show you how you can predict the future for your own life. If you had a routine, well, if somebody told you, hey, in order to make this much, you gotta do this, in order to make this much, you gotta do this, in order to do this, you gotta, you know what I'm saying? In order to make a certain amount or live a particular lifestyle, if somebody gave you the information, you'd probably do it, right? So this is what I've determined in my short but everlasting long journey. I'm on and I'm excited about. Like most of us, when I say most, most of us are not that good in anything. Like we're good enough to help a company do well, but we're not super cold. And when I say when you're super cold, super cold is when nobody can really give you an hourly wage that you don't agree with. Like when you're super cold, you can really ask what you want. And majority of the people that I know go to work for somebody. Um, whether it's, you know, large corporations or in Fortune 500 company, all of this is great. But at the end of the day, somebody worked in a different capacity than you. And I know a lot of people always say it's because, you know, what they got and, you know, what it who helped them get there. But there are people that started where you are that's making way more or more involved in something because they they hit a speed and was not going to be denied. And I think that's what happened to me for sure. Like, I knew what I wanted, but I didn't know how to get there. And the way, the road that I was on was just in education. So I was like, I'm going to become the Secretary of Education for the United States. Now, mind you, this is like my thought pattern is like 2005, 2006, maybe seven. But my idea was if I could just shoot for the top, I can make enough money to live the life I want. So when that perspective changed, is when I moved to Abu Dhabi with my family, and I was making a nice amount of money, and we were living really nice. I was like, and I thought about the Secretary of Education for the United States, and I was just like, I'm not working that hard. They be working all the time. I was like, in my head, I was like, no, I'm good. I can do this. I can help kids, I can help adults get better. But it wasn't to be cold, it was to tell somebody how much money they was going to pay me because I had got tricked living in the United States where somebody else said, I'll pay you more. And getting that amount of money made me feel like I didn't want a real job that's gonna push me. But I definitely don't want to be the Secretary of Education for the United States. And this is why. I want my family. I want my time. Like the people that go chase it, most of the time, they lose the most precious moments with the people that they care about. It's a sacrifice, right? And I realized I'm glad I didn't have to make that sacrifice. Right now, I feel like I am working on my craft where at some point I'ma become super cold. And when I'm cold, like I'll be able to remember I didn't have to sacrifice my family's time, the interaction, like the stuff that like me podcasting, this is this is outside of my family time. My family time comes first. If they wanted to occupy my time for the rest of the year, like when I get out of work or whatever, I'm going for it because I know at some point that's not going to be there. You know, me podcasting, trying to get to this idea, it's going to happen. And I think that's the reason why I enjoyed it so much. You know, I got some friends that say I don't do enough to get people to subscribe to the channel. I, you know, I just like I said before, you know, I want people to come here because they want to be here. I don't want to like try to tell you to come here. But, you know, another friend of mine told me, hey, some people want to hear your message, and you'll remind them to say, hey, if you want to hear more information like this, hit click hit subscribe. But I don't want to butt myself. At the end of the day, I just want to be interested enough for people to just come because I didn't ask you to say. I wanted you to stay because you wanted to stay, because you enjoyed the information. So at some point, my craft is going to become really, really cold. Just think about it. Don't work on it every day. I'm going to work on it for the remainder of my existence. At some point, I'm going to accumulate enough time where my time will be that valuable. And the whole point of the podcast was to show other people how to do it. Because I'm going to just compare myself to a few people, right? In my age range. Kobe Bryant, Kanye West. Now, rest in peace, Kobe. But at the end of the day, just thinking about our age. We're the same age for the most part. We can't be no more than like nine, ten months apart or whatever. Just where they started, you know. And the information that they had. Like they they found something that they were able to really make make something more beautiful. Like the idea of getting better and something. Like they they perfected a craft that is undeniable. Like we're the same age. And I'm like, nobody knows me. Like, I haven't done anything. And I was just like, we were born, you know, just a different parents, but what can I do to be able to like be on the same way? They they had a head start, you know, and you know, I guess Kobe wasn't a good idea because he's no longer with us. But I that's how much he was in my uh played a role in my life. And I guess that's the reason why I use him. But I hope I didn't offend anybody. But I was just saying, regardless, wherever he was born to the time he died, he's been so many eons ahead of me, right? And I was just like, dang, he ain't even living anymore, and I can't catch up. And I'm like, what can I do? Just worked on myself, focused. I got this perspective where I'm optimistic about everything. Even if I get the short end of the stick. And I know y'all heard me say this. I don't have a problem with the short end of the stick as long as it's fair. And I prefer to help. If I can lose for somebody to win, I don't have a problem with that. You know, uh, I know some people think losing is horrible, but losing is probably the best learning experience you could ever have. You know, and then if you really learn from losing, you understand it ain't even about losing or winning. It's about how can you improve, how can you get better. So my perspective of being optimistic and requiring the use of my own effort can change the future. And I feel like if you believe you were that important, you would create a routine that could nurture the future that I'm talking about. But you would only talk about it because it's your future. So when somebody says, I'm spewing lies, it kind of like, it bothers me. I'm like, dang, how did they get that? And I realize that my communication is just not where it needs to be yet, you know? But at some point, I'm gonna be able to say sentences where people are gonna be like, that's what I'm talking about. Like, I didn't even look at it that way. It was right there. And who doesn't want the opportunity to grow like by themselves on purpose, intentionally? And I think sometimes people like me, you know, I used to think like I was intentionally growing, and I but I wasn't doing anything on purpose other than wasting time. Like I just think about this is gonna rub people the wrong way, but just what imagine how many hours of time you waste watching your favorite sport. Like those hours can accumulate and really work on yourself. But if you feel like that's important, that is not gonna get you closer to your goal. Like, people know the most valuable currency in the world is time. Because no matter how much we have, we can't get it back. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, what are you gonna do to maximize your time? So I believe when I first started this podcast, I was going to show the process of me becoming a better communicator, a better father, and a better husband, and show people that you can do it if you just put the effort in. This is year, what, five or six in podcasting, right? And year four in I'm growing in, and I just know how much I've grown as a person, and it's documented. Like we just go back and look. Like I wasn't even looking at the camera at one point because it was just so uncomfortable. And then now it's like I'm getting into, I guess, a confident matter of discussing things I like to talk about because I actually do the research so that I can practice the routine. Me practicing the routine, it fed my confidence because you only know what you're doing, right? If you're not doing anything, your confidence can't be that high. You can talk, shh, but it's gonna be a time where you're gonna have to like show what you know. And I feel like I work on communication every day on purpose, and I get to practice with students. I can show them different responses. It gives me an energy like I am going to be able to change some of these kids' minds on how they look at their future. And I really believe that. You know, there are stories that say such and such changed my life. I don't know where I'd be. I don't know anything about that. I don't know anybody outside of my like my wife who changed my life. And no educator in my mind invested in me to that capacity at all. So I won't ever have that story. But it sounds like a great story to give someone. So if I could work on myself on a daily basis to show how committed I'm trying to create a possible trajectory change to their family, I'm all for it. Like you don't have to do anything, I say, but I know if you don't take shortcuts and you go the long way and you give an effort that you could be proud of, you're gonna create and yield a fruit that you've never seen. Because people don't operate like that around you. And once you really understand how important you are, you will monitor the time you give out to people. Because time is that valuable. And we're getting older. Flat out. We're getting older, right? I see people falling over. Like, now, I ain't a spring chicken, but I d I would hate to be falling over and I'm not 50 yet. And when I say that, I mean it's just like we're just poor usage of the body, a lot of childhood trauma that never could develop the person. But now I feel like if anybody were to stumble across these videos and they decided to like believe that they were they were that important, they could see results as quick as a however you put the time into it. But you have to believe you're that important. And I do. I do believe I'm that important. And that's the reason why I don't speed anymore. I'm gonna tell you why I don't speed. Realize when you speed, you kind of mess up the flow. Well, I don't I don't speed like like I used to. I could because I just forgot. Like sometimes it's not on purpose, right? But I try to be mindful of the flow of traffic because everybody can't drive. So I'm trying to get home. So I'd rather be safe than sorry. So a lot of times I leave early because I may not get there on time if I leave at the right time. So I mean, when I say early, I mean early enough where somebody says, Oh, you got here early, because I feel like I don't want to waste people's time. But if I get there early, I already have something to occupy my time so that I'm not wasting it. Like, I'm just being patient. And that's what I say. Like, if you develop a routine that you can follow through on, you're a whole different person. You are like, you are a different person. And I want people to become the person that they didn't even know they could become. And hopefully, I'm able to create these words and get people to be like, I can do that too. Like, when you can believe you can do it too, it's filthy. I'm gonna tell you why it's filthy. Because it's almost intoxicating to want to work on yourself. Like, like becoming addicted to like finding why you were acting the way you were. Like sometimes we overreact to a lot of things, right? Because we haven't unlayered where it came from. And if people got some therapy or did some journaling and got to really know who they were, because you're becoming a different, once you get on this path, the seed has been planted. It's all about you on how much you want to see before it's time to go. But once the seed is planted, it's inevitable. I don't know how long it's gonna take for you, but I tell you this: once you fall in love with getting better, you know, people say luck is when preparation meets opportunity, something like that. I feel like if you do what you're supposed to do, you'll get everything you're supposed to get. If you're waiting for a miracle or luck, like, it's almost like you don't you don't want to put the effort in so you can get what you deserve. And that's why I said at the beginning of this video, most people have no idea how much effort it really takes to look like what they think they want. Like, everybody that's keeping your attention on television, that's how cold they are. They so cold that people paid them millions of dollars to play a game that they learned as a child and they became so cold in it that people decided to pay them because you continue to watch. And you know why you continue to watch? Because you don't know how cold you are. Flat out. Okay, you know how you got a dream big. By the time I depart and I say goodbye, like people that decide to go into education, you know what they were trying to do. You know what they're trying to do. They want to make the world a better place, but they want to become cold in it so that they can push, push forward the evolution of man. Just imagine that. People decide, man, I'm gonna be a teacher because I'm gonna learn how to give this information where somebody can say, I help change their family. That's what I want. I want to help change people's families. So how do I do it? Work on my communication. Give them the experiences that I've had and say, hey, this is this is something I've seen before. Give some advice. And you know, this is one thing that I say. I don't got too much longer to go, but I used to give a lot of unsolicited advice to people that were not looking for it and I felt like they needed it. And at the time I sounded like a know-it-all, like I think I'm better than everybody. And I had to learn how not to sound like that because I was learning this information and I was just like, I was just giving it out. Like, but I was giving it out like I was being an arrogant prank. And that wasn't my goal. And I didn't, that's another reason why I knew I had bad communication. And I still have glimpses of poor communication skills where I know I offend people. And I don't even want to. And and I'm still working on it. How about this? This is how much I like like this is how cold I want to be. I want to be so cold where when I'm talking to people, no matter what I say to them, they receive the message. Whether they agree or not, they understand, and it's not a conflict. I I oftentimes create conflicts the way I deliver information when I talk to people, especially my friends, because you know, my friends, I get a little more lax with the way that my presentation is, and you know, it'll just sound like you don't know what you're doing. And I didn't even what I mean. I promise. People say, you probably do mean that. I don't. My goal is to help people get to where they want to get. Like, imagine that somebody could just do a conversation. They listen to you and said, Did you ever consider doing this? I'm like, no. And you just like, from that day on, you were you was on it. That's what I was looking for. That might be a bit of a stretch, but I feel like you can do it if you become cold. Like, I don't know, I don't know people that want to fail on purpose, right? I don't want I don't know people that want to struggle. People could come up with excuses on why these things are happening. But at the end of the day, it's like the what's next? What's the solution? How can I get out of this? And I feel like I was never in this, but I got out of that to get to where I'm going. And I feel like if I can help people understand like the feeling I have, people will be more in tune with themselves. Like, if you really tried to figure out who you were, you make the environment better. Like, people are looking for peace and don't realize it's through communication. People's peace is disrupted because people don't know how to talk to people. They carry negative energy. And depending on where you grew up, a lot more people might be a little more rugged and you know, I'm you're sensitive. And that's what's crazy. The communication part on sensitive. Like that, yeah. I'm sorry, I didn't grow up that way. Hey, could you say it another way? Why gotta be so aggressive? Hey, if you haven't seen it, you would think that it's a problem. And I can see why people feel like, you know, people are aggressive when they don't know the environment. It's just poor communication at the end of the day. Because in the majority of the world, the communication would offend anyone. But since you're used to it, we're sensitive. But that's another topic. But you know, I just want I just want y'all to know your perspective. If your perspective can be optimistic, focus on effort, and find ways to intentionally improve, you will create a future the better you get at these things that I'm talking about. You'll create a future that you won't. But you have to put the work in. And that's what I'm saying. If you aren't seeing it being done, because you're the only person that can really judge you. You know what you're doing and you know what you're not doing. So if you don't got it, it's because you didn't put the work in. Understand this. You are the most important person in the world. But it don't matter if you don't believe it. Make today better than yesterday. Don't worry about it. Anything you can't control. G-A-T-A. Get after that action, or that action will get after you. Be great on purpose.