growNman
growNman
157 Power of the belief in SELF
Ready to trade wishful thinking for a life you can respect? We dive into the gritty, everyday work of becoming someone whose habits deserve the results they’re chasing. No shortcuts, no mystique—just a clear framework built on self-worth, consistent effort, and a personal routine that turns intention into identity.
First, we challenge the quiet belief that stops most growth: “Am I important enough to change for?” Once that answer is yes, everything else becomes logistics. We unpack why effort has to exceed expectations, how to align your actions with the outcomes you say you want, and what it really looks like to outwork your doubts without burning out. You’ll hear practical examples of routines that stick—early mornings, learning blocks, journaling to organize thoughts, meditation to steady emotions—and how to build them without relying on motivation.
We also get honest about relationships and health. Becoming a better partner and parent requires listening past your ego and trading instant advice for real understanding. On the health side, the aim is freedom: protect your future self so your people don’t have to. We talk quality of life, aging with dignity, and setting boundaries that keep you useful longer. If you’ve ever caught yourself complaining about what you can’t control, you’ll learn a simple shift: feel it, then ask what’s next, and do the smallest true thing.
This is a grounded, hopeful listen for anyone who wants to be proud of their effort at home, at work, and in the mirror. Hit play, take one idea, and make it daily. If this spoke to you, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a nudge, and leave a review so more people can find the tools to be great on purpose.
What up, No, and welcome back to I'm Growin, man. It's your man John D in the building. Today was a tough week for the kid. Uh, those of y'all that don't know, I'm in education. I'm an assistant principal. I do any and everything I can in the best interest of the kid, unless it compromises the environment. This week, I wasn't even there all week, and it just got overwhelming. But I heard some really good things about the direction of the school. It makes me feel really good. Um by the time you guys get this, my Founders Day would have passed. I believe it comes out on Founders Day will be on a Monday. This comes out on a Thursday. So happy Founders Day to the brothers of Omega Sci-Fi Fraternity Incorporated. Shout out to Sigma Chapter, the infamous single letter, better known as the Wood Factory. This evening we'll be uh having some new uh men to enter our organization. Really excited. Line brothers driving down. I'm gonna take my kids so that they can see what it looks like. Now let's get focused. I wanted to just uh really focus on the journey of getting better. When I used to talk to people, and uh I used to say, hey man, how you doing? They doing pretty good. I was like, how are you doing? I was like, man, just getting better intentionally. And they normally say, are we all?
SPEAKER_00:No. To get better intentionally is a different type of work.
SPEAKER_01:And I'm gonna show you the things in my mind from what I've read, listened to, or practiced on how you could change your life around. But in order to do it, the number one, somebody could probably find something. Somebody you could put God first and all of this. But the number one thing in my life that I believe in order for you to change your life, you have to believe you are important enough to deserve it. If you don't have that belief, why are you supposed to get anything? Um, that's the key point. You know, being in education, I started asking kids like that, and asking them, you know, raise your hand if you think you're important. It's always a minority of students who raise their hand. And I think like, how in the world can you not believe you're important? You know, even when I was growing up, I thought I was important. I used to just think it wasn't fair to be in the situation that I was in. And when I say that, I mean like, you know, I always envied other people because I didn't have a lot of stuff. You know, looking back, I'm blessed I didn't because I could have become a different person. But my parents did the best that they could to distract me enough to say, to believe that I wasn't poor. I didn't realize I was poor until I became an adult. You know, um, yeah, I I I definitely wouldn't been able to live the way that I grew up. And I'm blessed that I was able to find a way out. But the only way to find a way out is that I believed I deserved more. When I say deserving more, it means like the stuff you see on TV, you're like, man, I wish. I wish. Now, mind you, I don't have any of the I wishes. No, I think I used to wish that uh I enjoyed my life to a different degree, but I think I'd really practice that now. And I know that's not what this is about, but the belief in self is the key point. Because if you don't believe that you deserve it, why are you gonna try? There's no miracle coming that's going to make you better than you are other than your own effort. The number two thing, number two thing that you have to have, you have to put in the effort to complement the things you believe you deserve. A lot of people in in Christianity knows that faith without work is dead. So the fruits of your labor that you believe you deserve don't even exist unless you put in the effort. That effort is a practice that I think many, a lot of us didn't learn because our parents didn't know what it looked like. And now that I'm in this position, I've seen myself growing in a way that not even I could have wished for. And the person that I have become is is giving me an energy that says I need to share as much as possible. I'm not here to tell anybody what to do, but I'm here to share my ideas, my practices, my experiences to hopefully give you just enough to create the work that's necessary. I used to, I used to dream like, why don't I have that? Why don't I have this? Why this didn't happen? Why didn't I get that? And through reflection, I didn't deserve any of it. Like any of it. And when I when I hear people talk about things that they don't have, they don't have anything that reflects that they put the work in and they're supposed to get it. And I see people now putting more work than they did before. But in order to get all of the fruits you want, you have to put more work than anything that you've ever seen. And if you don't put it in, why are you supposed to get it? The people that got it, do we believe that they were the chosen ones? They got lucky. You know, this is a sidebar, sidebar part. I'm gonna cut back, but I just want to say like, you know, a lot of people talk about Donald Trump, like his father gave him that money to start. He did. But he didn't make him a billionaire. And I want you to know this majority of the people that believe that they could become a billionaire from a million would lose that money in a year. Like, there's a different type of effort and people. Like, you know, he took advantage of people. I didn't say he didn't, but I know he couldn't have taken advantage of that many people to become the several billionaire that he is. And, you know, you can have an argument with it, and I'm not here to argue that. I'm just saying he put in a level of work that a lot of people don't believe. And I feel like if you don't believe in yourself and have the effort to put in, you're gonna just complain about other people who got it. And at this point, at my age, I don't have time to complain about anything other than what I'm not doing. And the reason why I say complain about anything that I'm doing, because I can control what I'm doing. A lot of people always talking about other people, what they're doing, what they ain't doing. Why does it matter? Does it, I don't know. Why does it matter? The third thing I believe, in order to really enjoy the journey, you have to you have to create a routine that reflects the daily consistency of a commitment. And when I say, I don't want to get like lost in the words, but you should have a routine that's supposed to be completed every single day that's just dedicated to you. If you don't do that, how do you get better? And when I started this journey back in 2019, 2020, I didn't know what it was gonna look like.
SPEAKER_00:But I'm so impressed with I'm impressed with the person that I've become.
SPEAKER_01:I don't want to get emotional or anything, but I did not know I could become this person. And when I say that, I'm saying it with I'm very optimistic about everything. Like I believe in anything that happens, there's a message in there. And if you if you listen, you can get it. Now, I don't get all the messages, but I do know when things don't go in my favor, I'm trying to figure out what was the message I was supposed to get so that that experience doesn't happen again. And I got to this point because I just my routine. And I know a lot of you guys know it. Like I wake up four o'clock, can wake up at four o'clock without an alarm. Um I study languages, communication, the art of chess. Uh, I meditate, and I do a lot of, I don't do as much journaling as I used to, but I still do it because I know that journaling and even podcasting allows me to see and hear my thoughts. It's more uh more control. Like if you don't talk, you got thoughts everywhere. And if you don't put them in order by writing them down or saying them out loud, you could you could lose a lot of understanding and other things. And comprehension and processing is so real in your own process of growing as a person. So check this out. I have been on this journey to literally ultimately just become a better husband and a better father. And when I say that, that was the number two, that was the two number one things that I only cared about. I didn't care about anything else after I got on this journey because I felt like that was the areas that needed the most improvement. And that came through reflection because I wasn't the best husband. I wasn't the best father. I think I was present enough to still be there. But after this journey through the reflection, the reflection piece, it made me to re-evaluate like why am I not where I'm supposed to be? And why don't I, why don't why am I not feeling whole with my family? When I learned this, it changed my perspective. It made me want to see what it would look like if I intentionally tried to become the best husband in the world, the best father in the world. Now, I can't say that. But I don't know any other man that is even interested in those titles. I'm interested in those titles because although they might be out there, the only person I can really become better is me. So I have to find these areas of improvement and the competitive nature that I have with myself is to become the best version sooner than possible. And the reason why I say sooner is because I'm watching the fruits develop. And I'm really interested in seeing what they're gonna look like in the future. Because as of right now, I'm 47. I'd be 48 in a few months. A couple years from the big 5-0. And I used to want to live to 160. Then I realized that my body's gonna get older. And although I might be really wise and all of that, but I don't want to live a life where I'm dependent on people. So I don't know how long I'm gonna live, but I want to live long enough where I can enjoy and not complain about what's happening to my physical form. Because as we get older, it's gonna break down. I hear a lot of, you know, pain and aches from people, a lot of moaning. You know, they're still happy to be alive, but at the same time, the quality of life is not where it once was. And that's probably why I'm so interested in my health, because the last thing I want to do is have somebody depend on me. Or I have to depend on somebody, excuse me. And the reason why I say that, because I've seen people that help people and they have to depend on other people, the people that's doing it, they don't seem like the happiest. And the last thing I want to do in my life is to take the peace out of somebody because they're helping me. I'd rather just pass before that happens. But until that happens, I'm gonna do the best. I'm going to improve my routine throughout the years. So just imagine I've been doing this five or six years. I plan on doing this for the rest of my life. And to get mastery is to refine the smallest things to make sure there's less room for error and focused on becoming a better husband, a better father through effective communication. I work on communication because I don't want to waste anybody's time when I'm speaking to them. And the information that I have is just to share. And I want to make sure I listen enough to get what they're trying to give. At one point, I used to be very arrogant to the point where if I heard something before, I felt like I didn't really have to listen or interact. It was really selfish. But now, regardless if I've heard it before, I'm engaged because I want to help people get to where they want to get to. And through my optimism, I think I've changed people's outlooks. Just when I have conversations with people, they don't understand how important they are. And I believe when we interact, I'm able to give them a few words. But if I'm not, I'm gonna plan a seed anyway. And hopefully through their journey, they're able to have it nurtured so that they can grow the way that they want. But until that happens, I will keep trying to improve. You know, like when I meet you, one thing I want you to know: if I meet you or you already know me and we talk, I need you to already know my agenda. My agenda is to see how you're doing, check on your family, and give you whatever you're looking for if I got it. And you better believe I'm not just giving, I'm gonna be taking too. So I'm going to be listening to what you have, and hopefully we can help each other so that when we leave each other, we're better than when we started. And a lot of times it's difficult to get those fruits because, well, for me it was, because I was always so arrogant where I didn't feel like I hadn't listened. And I think that was the biggest part of my process, my processing was that I wasn't listening well enough. Um, and I'm still practicing on that. I'm still assuming I can help people immediately without, you know, getting clarity. And I can tend to rub people the wrong way to say, uh, the same way as I did before. It's just, it's more genuine now or more, it comes from a warm place. So people don't take it to be offensive, but I can still see I'm like, what is it? I'm forcing like my ideas, and it's not even intent. My intent is to literally say it can get better. But you have to do the work. Without the work of getting better, you're gonna stay stagnant. All the people, all of them that I know that are stagnant in areas, they complain. They complain. When I say complain, they complain about things they cannot control. See, when you are working on yourself and you have a consistency, a daily routine, you don't have time to complain. You are only focusing on how can I improve myself. But I'm gonna tell you, I challenge all of you. You don't have to call anybody out. Next time you talk to a person, you can even listen to yourself. See how they're talking, see how you're talking. If you're complaining, you're trying to fix something in my mind, but you're not doing anything about it. So in order to do something about it, my wife told me, she was like, you can cry. Like her mother used to tell her, I'm gonna let you cry. But the goal is to find out what's next. You can have all of those emotions and those feelings, but what's next? So, all of you people out there that's complaining about things you can't control, what is next? What are you gonna do? If you're that important, if you believe you're that important, what are you doing to get the things important people get? I really want you to ask yourself that. Are you doing the things that are necessary for you to get what you really want? And I'm almost willing to bet we aren't. You know, you can have be, you can be as confident as you want, but if you don't put that work in, it's all talk. I think I used to be all talk. Well, I can't say I was all talk, I just didn't put in the work that equated my talk. My talk was big, shh, but I didn't I didn't, I don't know. The things I was interested in, I don't know. But now I'm all about getting better and any and everything. So, you know, I have a friend, me and him was gonna start talking like Mondays uh in the evenings, and I think he's gonna be a benefit to my my growth because he's very logical in the breakdown of how things are. And I think that he'll be a different set of eyes that will help me grow. Hopefully, I'll be able to compliment him that way also. But I do want everybody to know before I go. The best thing that's happened to me was I truly believed I was important enough to create a routine to develop habits that was going to develop these fruits I'm looking for. Some of the fruits I may not get until like I'm 60, 65. I don't plan on dying, so why not work on it? So hypothetically, if I'm not working on it by the age of 65, I'm not gonna get anything. But if I keep working, I could very well get it before 65. I could get it by 60. I could get it by tomorrow. Depending on how much work I've done, the universe will do what it's supposed to do. But until then, I'm gonna just stay focused and keep grinding. Now I want to say grinding, because grinding sounds like a lot of work. I don't really consider the thing I do work, I just call it that so people can receive it. The things I do, I say it's my routine. It's my it's the things I enjoy doing. Because I know that after a certain, after a certain amount of hours that's been accumulated, it'll be found. And whenever this is discovered, I'll be ready. You know, um, I have a good friend. His wife told me that she's glad that I kept podcasting because if you keep putting the content out there, at some point you're gonna be good. And then when you get good enough, they can't deny you because you have a library of information that show how you got to this point. And my family can only benefit from it. It's almost like a record deal where you know I have a podcast deal of just getting better. And once I get better, you know, people will be interested. But until then, I'm not good enough. And when I get good enough, the fruits will come. And I'll tell you, when the fruits come, the goal isn't to not flex or to shine. It's just to verify that your intentional work can reap those fruits also. And that's the reason why, like one of the reasons why I went on this, because I wanted to show people like I was a regular dude, still a regular dude, but I'm a regular dude with impressive habits that make me present to the world as a great person. And when I say great, I mean like genuine, loving, willing to help where I can, giving, doing whatever I can. So until I get there, I'm gonna keep trying and no, I'm not gonna keep trying, I'm gonna keep doing. I am going to do what I'm supposed to do to get everything I'm supposed to get. And I think that if people really worked on that, they would be more happy with their life, happier with their life. You know, I know I've been really big on relationships and the benefits of marriage. You can't have all of that if you have not matured into the person you're supposed to become. Now, if you're not mature and you find a compliment, you can get there. It's just gonna be a lot more rockier. Because a relationship is complex when you don't really know who you are. Because when you really know who you are, you won't tolerate a lot of things. When you don't know who you are, you're gonna tolerate things you think you want. And that's a maturity thing. I know that. I believe you know that. If you're between the ages of 14 and 25, let's say 12 and 25, because relationships are starting so early. Don't do it. You don't even know who you are. You're wasting your time with somebody, you could create mistakes. Relationships at a young age and you're not mature is gonna create a heartache in somebody. You're gonna get your heart broken, or they're gonna get their heart broken. Because nine times out of 10, you guys have not bedded each other enough to figure out if you're the right person. You guys just attracted each other's energy because maybe you like the way they look, you like the way they sound. So many different things. But if you don't truly get to know your person, it's because you didn't spend enough time to find out who you are. My life has been a complete blessing because I took initiative into finding ways to improve so that the people around me could benefit from a better version of me. That has been breathtaking. I can't, I can't deny it. So hopefully, my my the energy I give to you guys will help you find the best version of yourself. Y'all make today better than yesterday. Don't worry about anything you can't control. G A T A. Get after that action, or that action will get after you. Be great on purpose. Row! Two times.