growNman
growNman
152 Coldest You, This Universe
Imagine the coldest version of you—the one with clear words, steady focus, and a craft so sharp people come looking for you. Now forget alternate timelines and decide to build that person here. We start with a living room thought experiment about the multiverse and pivot into a practical blueprint for mastery: communicating with empathy, learning from mistakes without shame, and committing to daily routines that outlast motivation.
As an assistant principal, I see what happens when systems are sloppy and when they’re solid. We talk about supporting teachers with real behavior plans, investing after-hours effort to keep the machine running, and bringing parents in with empathy instead of ego. Some conversations cut; forgiveness and accountability let us move forward. The goal is a school where students feel seen, parents feel heard, and classrooms feel safe enough for learning to stick.
We also get honest about money, talent, and the trap of shortcuts. Mastery comes before applause. If you are good enough, money will chase you—so pick a craft and train it daily. That includes inner work: emotional intelligence, therapy, language, and the discipline of attention. Distractions are loud. Excuses are colder than any algorithm. Build a routine that survives mood swings, and watch small reps compound into trust, opportunities, and impact.
Students, this is your nudge: you are important. Practice focus. Choose habits that future-you can thank. Adults, the same rule applies—craft over clout, purpose through repetition. If there’s a better you in the multiverse, there’s no reason they should have all the fruit. Put the work in here and become the version others point to when they need proof change is possible.
If this message hit home, follow the show, share it with someone who needs the push, and leave a quick review to help more people find it. Then pick one habit and start today. G A T A—get after that action.
What up, Doe, and welcome back to I'm Growin' Man. It's your man John D in the building. So um I wanted to get on here and I guess kind of talk about something that me and my family talked about today. It was really me, my my son, and my wife, and we were just talking about we believe in multiverses. And if it's a multiverse, right, have you ever thought about it being a better version of you out there? They both said yeah. And I was like, cool, you know what I'm saying? So I was like, if there's a better version of you out there, is it a way that you can go out there and try to become that person? And I think my son was like, oh, I never thought about that, right? And you know, my wife was like, if there's a better version of her out there, that means she didn't have to go through the things that affected her emotionally. So she believed that life would be different. And I I I never thought about that because I'm I'm out here optimistic. Because I I told my son, I was like, why is there a better version of me out there in another universe living a better life than me? He was like, mmm. I was like, nah, I want to I want to be that way. So I'm striving to become the coldest version out of all the multiverses. Like there, if this is really true, I want them to be looking at this version right here as they watch me turn into, you know, a seeker of knowledge, a person who is trying to find ways to improve communication. You know, at the end of the day, I believe if we were better communicators, we would be in less conflicts. Like I've always said, like, we could have grown up together depending on our communication. And I just think we're talking past each other. So why do I, why do I want to be the greatest communicator ever? I want to be the greatest communicator ever because I feel like it's a goal that I'm searching for. In this universe, that's what I want to become. And there's nobody that's gonna keep me accountable on this journey other than me. So why am I not trying to see what that version looks like? So I am in constant battle of trying to figure out what mistakes did I make that I could have responded differently to. And why didn't I make a better decision when I had the opportunity? I like try to break it down where I can make sure I don't make a mistake like that again. Because we're we're human. We're going to make mistakes. But I think the key to life is learning from your mistakes so that you don't make them again. Because sometimes you don't even know it's a mistake. You have to literally, you have to look for more information. Because I'm telling you, we are here, I don't know, but I am going to continue to find ways to improve my delivery so that those who decide to go on this journey, that when you go find the best version of yourself, that you fall in love with how cold you can become. Like I I really talk about that. I want to be the coldest. Like, and I'm gonna tell you, shout out to all the athletes, actors, actresses, MCs, anybody that anybody that was so cold that people paid them to display their talent. Because I'm gonna tell you, being at this age, and I look back at how some of you guys were, you guys had a lot of money early. And I was just thinking about how much I didn't know then. And uh as I've grown into per to this person, like I would have lost that money. Like I just didn't have enough information. I do know that I would have, I would have. And now where I am in life, I'm like, I commend all of you guys who ended up getting a fast life so fast because it's grown men making bad decisions, be let alone some kids with a bunch of money. Now where I am in life, I understand trying to become so good in something, you know, because I'm telling you guys, I'm an assistant principal. And my goal is to become really good at what I do. And the the version that I see, I want to help teachers become the best versions of themselves. So I have to become a better administrator. And I think in order to do that, I have to keep working on communication, I have to continue to work on this behavior plan that's going to help students succeed where teachers feel supported. Like an assistant principal, and I'm telling you this because in my mind, I'm constantly looking for the best version. I'm like, what would this version be doing to get there? So I work a little longer in the day to make sure that I am not, you know, bogged down with tasks that I couldn't complete during the day because I was so busy. But now in my mind, I've I've under I understand in order to be uh a better assistant principal, you have to just know that it comes with the game. You have to invest a few hours every day, you know, even on your off days, just so that you're continuously refining this, this, this wheel. And when you have it, like I feel like students will succeed, parents will be be happier because they'll see a product that wants to learn and mature. That's that's the goal. Like, I really I work on communication so that maybe this conversation right here is the one that turns me like that's all I want to do. I I want kids to know how important they are. Period. If you talk to any of my students, I want them to all win. And some of them, they got some tough childhoods and they're not the best decision makers. But I'm trying to show them like, like, if you work on it, you could become cold. And I'm like, look, I'm 47. I didn't learn this until like 41, 40, 41. In between there, where I was like, I could be doing more. And when I learned I could be doing more, I found ways to maximize my time. And I said, I am going to learn how to become cold in something. Because those of you that are able to be distracted by all of these wonderful talents, I want you to become distracted by becoming cold in something. Anything you want. You just got to do it every day. And I'm telling you this, if you work on yourself every day, you will become cold at something. You know who that is? You got to come become cold at something. If you are not working to become cold at something, you're planning to work for a long, long time. And when I say that, I mean like in a job field that you're looking for retirement. Because I'm telling you, you could be working on something that by the time you do retire, you're still working on something to become cold. And as you get older, I'm telling you, as long as you keep watching your body, putting the right things in it, because if you're not, it's harder to enjoy life later. But I don't know anybody who gets older and say, you know, I'm looking forward to dying. They they want to enjoy life. So being at this age, I just want, I want to work on this craft for the rest of my life. And just imagine these students listen. They find something and they work on it every day. By the time they graduate high school, they could be pretty cold, but they got to believe the process. And right now, they they don't believe the process because they don't know that they can be kids and still work on something every single day until you become so cold that nobody can ignore that. That's when you cold, when somebody comes looking for you. And I'm telling you, when they do, I already know I'm working on this for the rest of my life. So the investment's already there because ultimately I just want to help change the community. I want to create a better mindset for students to have because I'm telling you, if they don't know how important they are, they'll keep making bad decisions. And our jobs are to convince them how important they are. And I'll tell you this, man, the parents in my school have been, they've been tough, but they really, I feel like they really open their arms to me and it makes me feel pretty special because I know how difficult, you know, parents can be. And I've had situations in the past, but I think the mindset I go in with all the parents is that they're being parents. And if I I am a parent and it allows me to be empathetic to their decision making. Because I'm gonna tell you this. There was a parent that said I was sorry. I was like, uh, excuse me, sir, I'm sorry. He said, Yes, you are. And I looked and I was like, man. But inside, I was like, he's a parent. It's all good. So it was some co-workers that heard that and they talked to me and they was like, Mr. Lewis, I know you wanted to. I was like, nah, I didn't even feel that way. I didn't even have that energy. Like I was more hurt than anything, but I didn't have that energy, like, you know. And to me, I did the right thing because he was being a parent. And you know, I saw him again and he was apologetic. And it made me feel good because deep down, all he was doing was trying to protect his. And, you know, I gotta let parents be parents. And if I if I hold a parent to a standard, like, like, what is the standard of a parent? We're gonna make mistakes. And it's my job to already understand that. And I'm gonna forgive them in advance and let them know I got their kids. I am trying to give them everything I can because there's going to come a time where you want your kids to be exposed to some of the best humans in the world. I want to become one of those. I really do. I like, I know it's gonna take the rest of my life, but I'm committed on working on a craft that's gonna bring mankind together. And I'm like, this is fun, to be honest. Like, I'll tell you this. Like, I've been working over five years on this. And I've seen more growth in these five years than the entire first four years of my existence. I realized why I was making bad decisions. I realized why I was a product of a bad decision. You know, everybody can say, you know, God wanted that. Oh, God, God wants the best decisions made. He don't want people making bad decisions. I tell you that. I wouldn't want that. But it's not saying that beautiful things can't come from bad decisions. So we need to learn to make better decisions, period. And in order to do that, we have to work on ourselves on a daily basis. You know, if you if you rock with me, there should be something like in your calendar, like your mental calendar, like every day, you're doing something that is working on you. If you don't, if you don't do that, how are you working on yourself? Like for real, like there should be something that you're doing every single day. And if you got to take an off day from working on yourself, that's crazy. Like, whatever you're doing to work on yourself, outside of exercising, you can work on yourself in other ways. And I don't want to hear nobody talking about that. I'm talking about you can do anything you want. You just should be working on something. Examples, okay, of people like, what are you doing? So I work on language every single day. There hasn't been a day in the last, I don't know, I don't know, maybe 1700 days that I haven't, I've done language every single day. Maybe I haven't. You know, that's one of those signs where like, am I, but I don't know. I don't know where I am, but I'm just saying I have a routine every single day that uh so I felt like maybe I was getting off topic, but I just had an experience with a guy where a guy was a salesman, right? Young guy, he's 23. And I was just like, uh, how you how you how you like this? He was like, you know, I'm sorry, you've been doing it for four months or whatnot. And I was like, you know, if you really go hard in this, you could be cold in it. But you got to put that work in. And when I say that work, I mean you got to become so cold in it that somebody says, I can make money off this person. But you got to put that work in where nobody won't take advantage of you work because somebody could come put something in your pocket before you realize what you could really do. So sometimes you just got to keep working when nobody's looking so that when people come for you, you don't get caught up by the tricks. Because a lot of times when you don't come for money, it's easy to dangle the carrot in front of the eyes and think somebody took advantage of you. But you know, life is a business. And if you don't have enough people around you to recognize it, you could get taken advantage of. Looking where I am before the age of 41, I would have been that person. I would have gone for it. Because like now I feel like I've found my calling. Like I'm gonna become one of the coldest assistant principals ever. Probably, I don't want to say the coldest, but my goal is to make our school look like it has two principles. We're going to make it like a well-oiled machine. So in my head, as an assistant principal, I need to learn everything I can. So I'm constantly pushing myself, trying to find a better version so that these students will maybe one day catch the message I'm trying to send, if that makes sense. Like when I talk to them, I'm trying to give them some information that they may not get from anywhere else. I was just like I was telling the guy outside, like, like my life, I've done a lot of things. And I'm their resource. So my job is to come up with words to possibly change their life so that they could they could potentially become the reason why their family changes. Because at the end of the day, as we put our kids through the educational system, we're hoping that the people in the education system will impact our kids so that it will change their family. At least that's the way I look at it. I know I was looking for somebody to like change my life. And I think I just, by the lick of the draw, I didn't get caught by a lot of the traps that some of my friends got caught up by. And now I am trying to prevent that from happening from the students. Hopefully, they don't misunderstand the messages I pass because I want them to understand how important they are. So my goal is to become so cold at communicating that when I speak to somebody, they don't misunderstand my message. And when I get there, I think a lot of us will find ways to find a reason to do something. You know, people will be like, you know, I don't even know what my purpose is. Why don't you find a better version of yourself and your purpose will be found? So until then, make your life better. Say, that's my purpose to make my life better. If you don't do it on purpose, we already know no accidents are gonna happen where you become great. Like to move with the intention of becoming better, man, it's it's an it's addictive. And if people learn, if they could become addicted to finding a better version of themselves, they would create a happiness that's gonna excite them on like what can I go? Where can I go next? Because I'm telling you, in that multiverse, there's a better version out there. And there's no reason why they get the fruits of the labor and we can't have the same ones. And the problem is, is that we didn't put the work in to get there. But we have time, God willing. Do what you need to do. God will protect you through. That's on everything I love. Like some of us were born in unfortunate circumstances. But if you're one of the lucky ones who received the message, you can enjoy life a lot more by putting the work in. If you find the best version of yourself, you'll become addicted to this idea that there's one better than that. And, you know, you don't get tired from it. Like you can't get tired of working on yourself. Like, think about it, you're working on yourself. Like when you go to sleep, you're rejuvenating yourself so that you can get back out there and find a better version of yourself. Because that addiction, it creates unseen results. You are that cold if you put the work in. And a lot of us got caught up in a lot of the distractions. Distractions are real. Like, I'm gonna tell you one of the coldest distractions on earth. Excuses. Everybody has one of them. Like, and I'm gonna tell you, you can work on yourself no matter what. There's not gonna be a doctor to say, hey, you should probably take it easy on yourself. You shouldn't work on yourself so and I'm not talking about physical again. Everybody like not talking about the physical aspect of working on yourself. I'm just talking about emotional intelligence, communication, therapy to understand why you view the world the way that you do. Like, if there's a better version of you, how do they get there? And what can you do to get there? Like, there are so many techniques that can bring the best out of you, but it takes an intentional effort. And I don't know what the threshold is for people. I know some people are better than others in completing tasks, but if the the ultimate task in life is to find the best version of yourself every single day, what would that look like? What would it look like? I would like for you to think about what is the coldest version of yourself and what do you think it took for them to get there? And what can you do to get close enough where you can be like, I want to see what that feels like. Because that's what it for me, I'm gonna tell you, looking at athletes and professional, anybody that just getting paid all of this money, it bothers me that I never learned how to become cold in anything where I could make that much money. And then I went on this journey of finding the best version of myself, and I was like, I'm gonna find the best version of myself where at some point I'ma understand the work that they put in to do it. And I was thinking about if people are looking for distractions, how about I change the way that I approach to getting better and find the best version of myself to help deliver this message so people can enjoy this life the best way that they can. And you know, you can't do it unless you have some exposed parents or you have the mindset that says you don't like how you're living and you're going to use what you can to get out of it. The problem with that is depending where you are, you may compromise yourself for the chase of the dollar. If you can get through life without the hunger for money, and I'm saying this, if you're good enough, money won't ever be a problem for you. Sometimes the money stops us. It's like the carrot, and it prevents us from working on our craft every day. If you're not working on something every day, what is getting better? A lot of these people that are distracting you are super cold. And you can have that, you can have all of that if you worked on yourself every day. This is really this message right here is for anybody, but specifically it's going to any person that's that's able to process a message. You are that important. If you create a routine every single day, every single day, at some point you're gonna become really good in. And hopefully you're working on yourself. Because when you're a young adult and you really have been working on yourself, you're gonna make great decisions. You're gonna make mistakes, but you're gonna learn from them. You're gonna get the message and make sure it doesn't happen again. But you have to start practicing now, or you may make a mistake that gives you a consequence that will change everything that I'm talking about. So remember, if you don't put yourself first, you're gonna make a decision that's going to change your life. So any students who happen to stumble across this, if you're not going to school to get all of that information, you're wasting your time or prolonging an uncomfortable lifestyle. And hopefully creating this message where students will be like, I got it. I have to stay focused and get better. And I'm telling you, a lot of people, attention spans are really short. But if they don't learn to master it, they should be working on it every single day. Like, how long can I focus? And if everybody gets into that game of like learning to focus, kids will enjoy learning more. It'll all come through practice. So I'll keep working on my craft and hopefully at some point the light bulbs will go off everywhere. Y'all make today better than yesterday. Don't worry about anything you can't control. G A T A. Get after that action, or that action will get after you. Be great on purpose.