growNman
growNman
146 Faith, Communication, and Finding Common Ground
A simple errand to retrieve a receipt unexpectedly transformed into a profound examination of faith, communication, and perspective when I found myself engaged in a theological discussion with two women in a parking lot. What began as a cordial exchange quickly shifted when I respectfully questioned whether the Bible adequately represents women's voices—only to be told I had "the spirit of Jezebel."
This encounter perfectly illustrates the communication challenges we face when discussing deeply held beliefs. Despite expressing my respect for Jesus, my questions about religious interpretation were met with immediate defensiveness rather than dialogue. The irony wasn't lost on me: while advocating for women's perspectives to be better represented, a woman used religious text to dismiss my viewpoint entirely.
The experience reinforced my commitment to becoming a better communicator and understanding different perspectives. I've learned that our strongest relationships—whether with partners, colleagues, or students—thrive when we genuinely consider viewpoints different from our own. My wife's perspective has proven invaluable in my decision-making, showing how multiple viewpoints lead to better outcomes than rigid thinking. As an educator, I'm passionate about teaching students to express themselves without triggering defensive responses, creating space for genuine understanding.
What story would you tell if given the chance? Would you be satisfied with how you've treated others? The best decisions come from considering multiple perspectives, remaining open to new information, and approaching others with genuine kindness—not because we expect anything in return, but because it's who we choose to be. Join me in making intentionally better decisions each day, understanding that growth comes when we step outside our comfortable boxes of thinking.
what up, though, and welcome back to I'm growing man shman, john d in the building. Uh, today's episode is, uh, probably to have a little more emotion than probably lack of emotion, because I've already had enough of it just thinking about it, but I wanted to share an experience that I went through today. So I am going to one of these stores to retrieve a receipt, because I forgot to get a copy Right, and in the line in front of me it's a young lady around 30 ish and a really older lady around 70, 80 ish, something like that 70, 80-ish, something like that the clerk. She's talking to the clerk, talking about what Jesus has done for her and how whatever they're trying to promote can help you with your life, no matter where you are. So they walk. Excuse me, I don't know if I'm supposed to talk about this. That's one of those things when it's like, oh, we'll see how this goes.
Speaker 1:So I get the receipt and I go. I start walking toward the car and I noticed that they're parked next to me. Go, I start walking toward the car and I noticed that they're parked next to me and I noticed that the young lady has gotten the older lady in the car. She goes to the driver's side and then all of a sudden she's walking back to the other side. But I cut behind the car because I'm next to it. So then she comes back around and said hey, here's this car, she's telling me about Jesus, and we had this conversation. I said I rocks with Jesus. I said, hey, here's this car, she's telling me about Jesus, and we had this conversation. I said I rocks with Jesus. I said you know, I love Jesus. And it just said I don't think Jesus can help me where I am in life because Jesus died so prematurely. You know, dad is a single man, no kids. You know like no kids. You know like I just didn't feel like jesus could help me where I am in life. And she was saying how jesus is god's son and so I was like, yeah, you know he can't. We're all god's children. I said we're in a reflection of him saying all of these things, right, and she started quoting scriptures from the Bible. And you know, I was like you know, man wrote that, you know, and they're in. You know, they were inspired by God. That's what she said. I said you know, I'm inspired by God every day.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying that the book that you're quoting from is not in the best interest for women, that the book that you're quoting from is not in the best interest for women, you know it's definitely women didn't have a voice. Where we are now, the idea that we're quoting things from back then, when women had no voice and I said, you know, without my wife I wouldn't be able to have my voice because I would just be like any other man. I feel like my wife gives me a different perspective that I never considered before. And you know I got back on Jesus but overall, like I was just saying how the Bible was not in the favor of women and she said that I had the spirit of Jezebel and they talked about me in Revelations. Now, at this time, I'm still in this Jesus moment. Like you know, I want you to continue to help people. You know like, if you feel like that and you know like I love, I really do rock with Jesus, but the idea that we're following this book, that's not in the best interest of women.
Speaker 1:I just think it's just, it's a narrow view and, being that I was trying to bring that to her attention, or both of them, the older lady didn't say anything. You know, she was just listening but she's defending this idea and I was just like, hey, I'm really on your side, I'm just trying to defend your case. But you know, kind of it rubbed me the wrong way because it's like the name called and what was that all about? I didn't even raise my voice or anything, I was just, you know, I'm like I can't. It's almost like if I don't follow your belief system, the way you want me to, it's like I'm the bad guy. I mean, is that Jesus Like that's what I don't understand. Also, like she was, she's pushing the lord, she's pushing jesus. And then she said I had the spirit of jezebel. Like that's not jesus talking right, that's like the man that wrote the bible. That kind of described whatever, where Jesus really kind of protected women, you know in, you know in his situations. But it kind of just rubbed me the wrong way because I wasn't prepared to be called that because, like now, when I engage with people and have these conversations, it like I come in peace and I feel like it was a learning moment.
Speaker 1:I really I wish I could have said some different things, you know, because I feel like I thought I was giving her new information where she could be cool. I never looked at it that way and it was like I created the, the Christianity party, that is, an extremist group Like you. I don't think that you guys should be able to go push the word If you, if you are so quick to name call, because I don't. I don't think Jesus got any lines in the Bible where he was like you have that Jezebel spirit. It's so disturbing to me, like, but you know it comes with the territory, right? Like, if you're going to talk about somebody's belief system, right? Like, if you're going to talk about somebody's belief system, you got to be prepared to see the worst in them, even though they believe. Well, really, they don't. You know, that's the energy I wanted to keep. Anyway, I don't even know.
Speaker 1:I guess it made me feel a type of way, because I feel like it was some other things that I could have said to maybe bring better enlightenment to her, to maybe bring better enlightenment to her, to like not be called anything. So that's my game. I told you guys I want to be the greatest communicator ever, right? So now I'm like replaying what could I have said differently, what could I have done differently, because I know Christianity is not going anywhere and these conversations are. They come really. They come really easy, and I don't want anybody to be afraid to help me learn more of what maybe I'm missing or maybe I could just bring a little bit more to the table where we can find a common Principle that brings us together outside of religion.
Speaker 1:I know, you know, I don't have to believe in what you believe in and vice versa, for us to get along Like it's almost like, if I don't believe in what you believe in, that I'm going to go out there and do bad things. I've lived too much of my life to know that I can believe in whatever I want and not hurt anybody. So I think other people have that ability too, and I think that people really believe that if you don't practice a particular way, that bad things can happen to you. I think bad things will happen to anybody if they're not protected. And I don't think any book, I don't even think God, because God puts us here to figure it out Right. So God will protect those who work for themselves, and when you're little and you're a kid, your parents are supposed to protect you. And until we get that therapy we need so we can understand why we grew up the way we grew up.
Speaker 1:I think it's really difficult to hold on to any other belief system and I don't again like I don't think that a particular religion is going to stop you from doing bad things. Like you have to believe you're important enough to not do the bad things before you think that any specific information is going to make you stop, because sometimes we're just products of the circumstance we grew up in and the way that we thought, and until we realize we don't have to think like that anymore, we'll probably keep doing the same thing we've been doing. You know, this whole episode was all about how this woman made me feel when I was trying to protect a woman. Like I really do feel like we're in this situation of life because we keep believing that man knows something and until women have the voice, when they're not compromised, it's it's gonna be hard to believe, it's important. So I'll keep working on communication and I'll keep like Find a ways to At least give a perspective where somebody say, oh, I didn't look at it that way. That's different, you know, and you know the point is if you can look at it and more than one Like one viewpoint, you're more likely to make better decisions in your life. But if you only look at it from your view, you'll you'll lose a lot, and I don't want anybody to lose anything, but I just want people to be. I want people to be heard, I want people to be received, and I think the only way we can do that is if we do it on purpose, like we literally have to work on the way that we communicate with each other.
Speaker 1:You know, these Christians that came to me didn't like how I was walking. Now you know what's so crazy. She tried to tell me. She's like because I said I respect everybody. She said I remember when I used to respect everybody too. She said that I was like wow, but now, the more and more I realize how important this, this, this episode, it was more so. Just me having therapy with you guys, letting you know that sometimes you got to talk things out, you know, and I realized that this is what I told a coworker, a colleague, recently Like if you knew that the other person's circumstance, you would understand.
Speaker 1:But since you don't, you like to assume the worst, thinking that you're in the worst circumstance. But if you really knew the truth, you would be nicer. And a lot of times we aren't nice to others because we feel like we don't have to be. But if you are, if you ever choose to be nice as a way of life, you would be happier. And you know, they say people take advantage of nice people. Maybe so, but a nice person is not going to become a bad person. They're nice.
Speaker 1:Like you can get compromised and not do the nicest things or not do nice things all the time, but it changes you as a person. Just imagine if you were really a nice person. It wouldn't matter. You're going to do what's in the best interest of everybody, not just yourself. And being compromised at a young age will make you make bad decisions as you move through life. Like why did that happen to me? What lesson did you get out of it? Everybody has a story to tell and I tell you, if you want to tell your story, you would at least like to be a nice person. So think about all of the villains in life. Like I don't think Hitler would be satisfied with his story. I know he wish he could have made some different decisions. You know, I think anybody who loses wish they they were on the right side of history and it was like why did I have to make these bad decisions? You know your only good is the people you speak with and if you don't have the right people around you, how do you know you're making the best decisions, Like? Especially if you don't talk to anybody about the decisions you're making. About the decisions you're making, you know I have become a great decision maker.
Speaker 1:When my wife became a part of like me making decisions Like and when I say that, I mean she may see it in a way where I may not see it. So if I bring things to her, she can be like, okay, yeah, this is, I can see what you're doing. Or I'd be like, yeah, I can see it, but did you look at it this way? Like she's automatically Trying to make me win, right, so I'm making her put on this hat.
Speaker 1:I realize when you have a partner, you can ask for some feedback and you know they want you to win. They can't do anything but get better, because you can't see it from their eyes. They have to describe it, they have to put that work in and if you have a really good relationship, you'd be like, oh, but if you're a poor communicator and you don't know who you're talking to, you could offend the person that you think you're supposed to be with and it's crazy how life works. And it's crazy how life works From the spirit of Jezebel to misunderstanding a message that's supposed to help people. Like the way she spoke to me, you would have swore that I was like I was talking bad about Jesus. I wasn't. I rocks with Jesus on everything I love. I love Jesus. You know I shout him out a lot of times throughout my life and like even today, like throughout, like my day to day, I try my best to show love because I understand why people fight for him.
Speaker 1:But people don't realize they could be just like Jesus if they made the better decision. I don't know. Like it's almost like I remember growing up, like you can't be Jesus, like you can't be perfect, you can't, ok, but you can try to be. You can attempt every single day to make better decisions and I think that's, I think that would be the goal. Like if you really intentionally made better decisions, I think the world would automatically get better. But if you're compromised as a child, it's going to take something really within you to find it when you're an adult, because some people grow up in really tough places.
Speaker 1:That's why I was talking about earlier, like If you understand what somebody is coming from, you can empathize, you can Come up with all the kind of reasons on why you want this person to understand that, but you have to be open to being wrong. Understand that, but you have to be open to being wrong. If you're pushing a message that's supposed to bring people together and show love and be kind, when you don't hear something you like you can't act like, you don't practice that. And then you know you say, you know I'm not perfect. Well, that has nothing to do with being perfect. That has everything to do with being mean. Like, why are you mean? Like you know, maybe that's mean by calling somebody mean, but I know I didn't call anybody any names today and I got called a name and you know I was talking to somebody I talk to quite often now and they were like, being called a Jezebel is just somebody who doesn't believe that the system that they practice is like you can't go against the system.
Speaker 1:And I was just like what system? Religion? And I'm like golly, I'm like I'm not going to like regardless, shake this up, no matter. I could tell you today I believe in the devil, right, I believe in the devil. I'm not going to go out and start doing devil-like things. I don't know. I don't know what people are looking for when they hurt people, or have they been hurt and they haven't healed? And they're returning the favor and the pain from whatever they say.
Speaker 1:Trauma goes through generations, so why aren't these people a part of it that's doing these really nasty things? So there's so many things we have to consider. Like I said, if you knew why they did it, you'd be like ah, but we don't, so we automatically put people in boxes. And when you put people in boxes, you create this barrier where we feel like we can't understand or we don't know how to communicate, where somebody be like oh, I wish I would have known that you know, but you can't know it unless you attempt to learn how to communicate better. So all of you Bible thumpers it was a joke All you people who are pushing the message, if people are not like, if people are not fully engaged, I think that you have to find new responses versus name calling.
Speaker 1:You know, I guess it hurt my feelings because I just, I was talking about how women are way more powerful today versus then and she wants to talk about when she didn't have a voice. I didn't understand that part, but I do now because she's only pushing what she believes in. She believes, like you know, if you don't believe there's more information out there, you could fall into a trap Like imagine growing up somewhere without anybody telling you anything and you just go somewhere. You're only going to know what they know. Unless you move around and you learn that people learn different things through life and unless you get out your box, you will always think the information in your box is correct. It's manuscript. There's so many other things out there that we can grow from. There's so many other things out there that we can grow from. But if we truly believe the information we have, like right now was the end all be all, there is no way we'd be here.
Speaker 1:I am on a weekend, a long weekend, and I want to say my first two weeks of school has been pretty awesome. I think we have a great team where I am and I'm looking forward to to see the results. You know, like just showing them new behaviors, how to respond, and guys like I said I'm on this communication tip so I'm trying to teach these students how to respond so they don't trigger their teachers with inappropriate language or emotional crash outs. That'd be crazy. I'm like look, I ain't got time for any crash out. You about to crash out? Let me know what that look like so we can avoid it. You know what can we do to prevent that from happening? Because we are not playing where we are. I'm really looking forward to this school year. Y'all make today better than yesterday. Don't worry about anything you can't control. G, a, t, a. Get after that action or the action will get after you. Be here at all purpose, boom.