what up, though, and welcome back to. I'm growing man. It's your man, john d, in the building. This is this. This episode right here is really the beginning of the birthday week for my daughter before she turns 18, and that's this. This episode is dedicated to my daughter. I just want to talk about my perspective when I originally became a parent, my thought process throughout the process, and where my original perspective was so clouded and misguided that I'm blessed that my wife was here. When I say I'm blessed that my wife was here, she balances a lot of the things that I do, and in the very beginning, when my daughter was born, you know, I remember when people said that I was just going to melt and she was going to have me eating out of the palm of her hand, and I've spoken about this before, but just wanted to like kind of summarize this idea she's turning 18. To like kind of summarize this idea she's turning 18.

Like you know, you, you go to, to work, or I mean you go to like a, a pet store when you're little. I didn't have this opportunity, so I'm just kind of creating this narrative. Let me say pick out a pet, you pick out a baby, whatever, and you get the, you get the freedom to raise this pet. Now I don't want anybody to think that I'm calling my daughter a pet, but my mindset in the beginning it was so little, it was just like provide food, hug, love, stuff like that. But it's so many more intricate parts of raising a human. Now this human was born two months early. She's born at three point zero three pounds and she was in ICU for two weeks before we got to take her home Underdeveloped lungs. We had to write that a sign so that she could get some type of steroid to help her lungs grow so that she could survive. So many different complications. My wife almost died severe preeclampsic. That was an experience and I will say that, looking back, they went through a lot in the beginning and me just being a man, it's just like that's just part of life or whatnot. But I'm so blessed that my daughter now my daughter uh had some what would you say, um, being born underdeveloped.

She had some, some areas of weaknesses as far as development wise and to watch the person that she's become is kind of remarkable to watch. She's in one of the top high schools in the area. She has well over a three, five average and she didn't do any tutoring but I'm lying, her mother tutored the heck out of her and she had a great support team at her school. So shout out to them um, I know that in high school, when she first entered it, that was her lowest performing year too and I think she had like a three point, um 3.1. But she said that was a very difficult year for her. It was like just so much going on and I know it used to overwhelm her. She's like like even now she weighs like 90 pounds and she carries like a binder with books, like a bag with her laptop, is it? She just looks unorganized and I can't believe she did that the entire four years and we're down. It's about to be a for another 10 days, less than um. No, yeah, by 10 days, and um to watch her do her thing down to the last two months of school it.

This episode is is dedicated to her because she made me a better man, a, a better father. She's so considerate and loving. Now she has some areas of her that she can be mean, but I don't think it's intentional. It's just a response, probably from some behavior she picked up from me. But she loves people, she loves to help and she's really into her craft right now. She wants to be a YouTuber. She got accepted to our alumni and she'll be attending that focus in on digital storytelling. She's really into anime and we want to push her.

You know some people like well, why would you spend all that money for her to go to school? Because we can't teach her that Like well, just go to YouTube and just follow them. It's easier said than done. Everybody's not self-taught or can watch somebody else teach them the information and we wanted her to have a fair shot at her becoming what she went to. So we're going to allow that to happen. She'll be staying on campus for the first year at least for the first year, and she's excited. I think she's more excited about the interaction with people without us being around, and then she doesn't have to come home. She'll be right down the street, but at the end of the day she's not down the street. She's going to be living in a different place where I told my wife man, don't be bothering her every night, but that's not good. I'm pretty sure I got to talk often. But happy birthday to her. It's coming on the 28th by the time you guys get this, it won't be her birthday.

This episode comes out the day before her birthday but I just wanted to reflect on my thoughts as being a parent. I remember when she was first born my mindset was like I'm going to make her tough, I'm going to make her have the mindset of a little boy so that she can recognize the ignorance before it comes. But that just shows you where I was, because your daughter is either going to be attracted to your personality or things about you or be so disturbed about anything about you and will find something totally opposite about anything about you. And we'll find something totally opposite. And I was totally preparing her to avoid people like me, as crazy as that sounds Like. I thought I was a good guy but I didn't want her to meet a guy like me at her age, because at her age you know guys are real simple. You know they're out. They say they want these things but they require these other things.

I'm not really worried about that with my kids because they know that if they're going to do stuff like that, it better be somebody serious, because having fun doing adult activities will give you a consequence that you wish you would remain as a kid, and I definitely know several people that they may not say it out loud, but they wished they would slow down or had somebody to slow them down. Now their kids are blessed, but that don't mean that they, you know, it was intentional. Intentional is a different type of emotional feeling and I was just, I'm just, I was being really intentional with my daughter. But as she matured, you know, at one point, you know, she just was like I don't even know if I really want to deal with a relationship.

And then I thought about it was me Like why wouldn't she want to be in a relationship? Maybe her mother doesn't look happy and at the time, as crazy as it sounds, my wife wasn't happy, I wasn't happy either. It's not about us, but I was just talking about the energy that we created where my daughter felt like she didn't think she was really interested in that life. It was like that is not the energy I want to give my daughter, but I will say in the last five years she's become a little more open to the idea and I would definitely credit that to the relationship my wife and I have created and to give her something to say hey, this can happen. It's going to take work and you got to be careful of this. You know we try to just give her these tidbits of nuggets so that when she go to college it's not as overwhelming, because they're going to come at her and I just hope that her energy attracts the energy she deserves, because college is a tough place, you know, for young people.

You know they just out there doing whatever they want and this is one thing. I do know A lot of people that go. They don't come back after like the first semester, especially the first year, and you don't even remember that they didn't come back until somebody might've mentioned them. And our preparation for our daughter is to enjoy college. We want her to do any and everything within reason, but because we already know that she's going to take the academia part seriously, but I don't want her to take it too seriously where she can't enjoy the fruits of getting to know people from different parts of the world. That experience right there you can't get in your neighborhood, you can't get on a lot of your jobs unless you have those jobs where they are open to hiring different backgrounds from all over the world. But college is one of those places where you can learn so much from other people and you can compare how you grew up, the information you learn and say what's what's making sense and what's not making sense. So I'm really looking forward to that. We got this graduation in this open house like a month after her 18th birthday her 18th birthday and in a couple months after that she'll be going to college.

Like I can't believe the time went by so quickly. When I say it went by quickly, I'm not going to say I wish I could take some more years back because I'm so much more present now, but I felt like she deserved a more equipped father earlier in her life, cause I was very simple on the way that I was like protecting her. You know I did. I hugged on her, I hugged on my kids a lot. I hugged on them a lot, but I just look at the way that I treat them now. I wish I was a lot softer. I was so hard and rough around the edges as a young father that if it wasn't for my wife, my kids would probably be really rough around the edges. But there's some polished kids because of my wife.

So shout out to her um, preparing for a birthday we're going to go to Chicago. My mother is there. My mother said she would like to see her for her 18th. So we're going to. And my, my daughter was like you know, I would like to see, uh, grandma Gina, grandma Gina, for my birthday. So we said we was going to make it happen. We got a few things lined up.

My mother was to take us out to eat and you know the generation my mother grew up in. You know, if you're poor in that generation, you give gifts of food and that's my mother's way of showing her love, because you know she grew up really poor. Like I wish I had some water. I was poor, you know, like that kind of poor and swallowing your spit to like eat like. That was an example she gave me. And you know my mother when we go visit her she always has this big spread of food and she wants us to eat until we're like full. But you know we're a lot more responsible now as far as what we eat and my kids will eat a little more. But but I just can't overeat anymore. I really can't.

But I'm going to have a good time for my daughter's birthday. I'm not going to be this pro eat right. I'm going to just enjoy the moment, smile, laugh and be merry. That is the intent. I want my daughter to remember her 18th birthday and be like that was exciting. And I don't even remember my 18th birthday, but I want her to remember how we remember it with her. I really don't remember my 18th birthday. I know I was in Saginaw so I wasn't with my correct family, um, but I want her to remember this, and what we're doing now is just trying to come up with ideas so that all of these moments go like and I don't remember anybody like really planning anything like this for me. Like before I got married, you know my wife did a lot of planning for me, like for my birthdays or whatnot. So the idea that we're going to do something for her and send her out with a bang is exciting. So, happy birthday day.

You are a blessing. The energy you bring to a room is very tranquil, because you won't say anything if you don't want to, but I do know that you have so much love and I want you to know that without you, you are the sole reason why this family is as successful as it is, and I mean that. And whenever you get this message. I want you to know that I will love you for the remainder of your life and you will always be in my heart. I will continue being a father that will find ways to improve so that you know what a man is supposed to look like, so that when you do find your compliment, you know that they have something that will make you a better woman. I don't know how soon that will be, but I hope that my example for you on how I treat your mother and how I love all my family will give you the eyes to recognize that energy. I hope you are not distracted by things that could get you off your path. Although I know I can't control any of that, I know that you are a focused young person and whatever you say you're going to do, you do so. I am going to always be here, I'm going to give you everything I can and I'm looking forward to this next journey. The idea that the emptiness is coming is so wild to me. Because you were just born.

I was at like the worst job of my existence at that point Well, my whole life. It's a really tough job I was in when she was born and I don't even put it on my resume because I don't like that job. It was an educated job too, but March 28th came, it was a blessing and whatever you want, know that I'll always be there. So shout out to you Happy 18 and many more to come.

But before I get out of here, I want to say thank you everybody who's been tuning back in, watch me progress and grow into a better person, because at the end of the day, the point of this podcast is to show people that I'm growing to become a better person, to improve intentionally, to create a result that nobody's ever seen through a purposeful idea of writing down things I need to do every single day. That strength is my routine to produce a product, and I know that sounds like a whole bunch of like, like, like word letters, but ultimately, I just want you to know that I am working diligently to improve myself as a father, a husband, an overall man, so that my kids will have an example of what it looks like of their parent constantly finding ways to improve, to find ways to make their mother the happiest woman in the world and to make their kids learn through their mistakes and understand that I'm not here for tough love. I am working on my communication so that you can receive the message at the time I'm trying to give it. I do not want you to be an adult to get my message.

So y'all make today better than yesterday. Don't worry about anything you can't control. G-a-t-a Get after that action or that action will get after you. Be great on purpose Boom.