what up, though, and welcome back to. I'm growing man. It's your man, john d, in the building. Uh, today is a snow day. Um, we have a president's weekend anyway, so we had a four-day weekend, but our vacation started a day early, so shout out to the university that gave all the teachers and students well-deserved rest.

I wanted to jump on here and specifically talk about things that I've learned as a parent. I'm not saying that the things that I know is correct, but I'm revealing some observations. Being in education and having my own kids, and I know that the largest discrepancy from my childhood to now is that you know, giving your kids everything is going to spoil them, and that could be the case. However, if you're not present in your kid's life, those presents can spoil them for the worse, because I've learned that parents replace gifts with the time that actually the kid wants to build a relationship, and most of the time, parents don't know, because if they did, most of the time parents don't know, because if they did, they would do it. I don't know anybody who wants to do anything remotely close to hurt their kids, but if it wasn't done to them, they had this thing called tough love growing up, where you would hear parents make kids, like kids, learn it the most difficult way without showing any type of emotional support, where you had to just kind of develop this thick skin of the mistakes of the world Not the mistakes, but the challenges that come your way. And a lot of times, if you don't present that information, kids can get their innocence removed or taken away from them where they develop this I don't care attitude when in fact everybody cares until they don't know how to anymore because they feel like it's not important.

So when I'm thinking Dylan, being in education for so long and raising my own kids, it made me a better parent. Because you know, you always say I wouldn't do this and I wouldn't do that. But when you actually have kids, you get to practice and say what works and what doesn't work for you. And I do want to say there's no specific way like how to raise a kid. There's no book or anything like that. But there are ways to make sure that the journey of parenting can be so fruitful where it can reward you in the long run. And when I say reward you in the long run, I see parents, young parents, old parents going through it because they just couldn't figure that thing out. And although there's no blueprint, there's a lot of information out there where you could become better.

So, presence versus presence, I think if parents are there with their kid, talking, sharing stories, that type of presence changes the trajectory of your kids because they learn to communicate, they open up to you, they build this bond with you that I didn't get an opportunity to do. I didn't have a parent that I could just share everything with, even when I was an adult, my father and I, we just didn't have that relationship and I didn't know how to do it until it was too late, and that was years after it was too late. My mother and I, we're working on it. My mother and I, you know we're working on it. You know we're working to get closer to that area of vulnerability that she definitely didn't know how. So I can't knock my mother for not knowing how, but with information today, we have to get out and push the idea that parents can get better, so that when you develop the relationship with your kid, it's not because you're just their parent, but the day-to-day interaction. You create a different support system in your kid where they can feel confident in the world. And if you don't look for this information, it's very difficult to just stumble on it in your day to day because you have so many other things going on. A lot of us are compromised by, you know, not working hard enough in some part of our life where we're geared to this level of financial independence. You know money is a distraction for a lot of people and I'm not saying you don't need it, but there's a thing where people get this need or this want for more and it can become very addicting.

Show behaviors to your kids where they think that that's really important and they're missing the time, the actual, in the moment time, the current time, because they're working for something that they believe is going to make them happier once they achieve it. So I think if you think about just being there on a day to day basis, on a day to day basis, you create this energy where kids will do their best to not hurt your feelings and I know that's kind of manipulation, but no kid wants to hurt their parents on purpose but if you can help them learn how to think, it'll reduce the mistakes along the way and when they do get the mistakes, they'll be able to come to you and ask for guidance, opposed to keeping it away from you, because you never developed that relationship and those of you that tried your communication tactics were probably abusive and they decided that they would be better with not telling you. And we know that kids don't know that much and if they're not getting the information from you, they're getting it from their peer group. As parents, I mean we need to teach our kids to listen, to understand before assuming, because a lot of times with our experience at that age, what do they really know? So if we learn to teach our kids to make sure to ask questions and paraphrase, repeat what they think they heard, this changes your kid's success. If your kids are effective communicators at a young age, they're able to establish boundaries, they're able to say what they mean and mean what they say. And when you're to that point, you develop a confidence because you recognize that your peer group didn't develop those tools. Those tools and the most dangerous thing in the world is not giving the rules and procedures on how to move effectively through the world.

You know, if you don't know better, you end up running into mistakes where you may get an instant gratification and think that's your way of life and it will take everything away from you. And when I say that I mean I don't know anybody that remembers when they were a kid that said you know what? I can't wait till I make that mistake where my freedom is removed from me and I have to live a life that is no longer happy. And when I say freedom, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm locked up in prison, but just the mindset that why didn't I work harder here than I wouldn't be here? Because wherever you are, you can put the work in to change your position, even as a parent. Because whatever your insecurities are and I tell people this all the time your insecurities are your kids ceilings or your kids' ceilings. So in your best interest, if you're going to discuss your insecurities, you have to tell them why you have them. At the end of the day, it's just because they're not developed. You never put enough time into those areas to develop the confidence so that you wouldn't be insecure. And if you don't have anybody to teach you that, you walk through life thinking you're supposed to feel that way, or at least that's the way that it felt for me.

And listening to other people after discussing these topics, it seems pretty similar. This is probably the best example I can give you. I have students that say I'm not good at math because my parents aren't good at math. You're not good at math because you haven't put the work that's necessary to be good at math. I told them every student in that classroom was born very similar into this world, but they had different support systems set up around them. Everybody has different parents, every parent has different information and certain parents have a routine or an idea of what they need to do to make sure that their child is getting the best information to grow.

And I've been in so many different school settings and I recognize that all kids want to impress their parents, but if their parents didn't give them the tools, they're sent to school thinking that teachers are supposed to teach their kids how to function properly in this world, and in actuality we're just giving them information that is supposed to help develop the cognitive functions of the human body, and that's wild, isn't it? I remember when my daughter first went to kindergarten and we know that there were certain parts that were underdeveloped because she was a premature baby and since she wasn't a behavior problem, she used to get like good grades, and that didn't help anything. Because at that age you think because if a kid can sit quietly and do as they're told, that they're good kids, when maybe they don't understand or they're not processing things. But you don't know that because the public school system is there to give tools to help students receive them. It helps students receive them, but it's only one teacher and it takes a different kind of teacher to be able to touch every student that they receive. And I don't think that's the public school's fault at all. I think that the public school system is doing the absolute best they can and people are holding an institution to help their kids become assets to society. Like we're just a resource. We're not the parent. The parents are the most important. If your kids don't ever go to public schools and you raise your kids, do you believe you have the tool set to make sure that they're productive assets to society? If not, you're sending your kids to school to help parent.

And unfortunately it's difficult to become a really good teacher because I don't think the training to become a teacher is geared toward the transition of how to become really good. I think they give us tools to teach, but not the. Am I doing a good job Without it needs to look like this, this, this and that. And if you're not hitting this, it's a lot of anxiety for adults and I think between three and five years, adults leave education. They decide that they can't do it because of adults, not because of kids, but because of adults, because I think that there's a barrier in the communication because educators aren't receiving it. And to deal with so many personalities in the classroom. You would think that teachers are underpaid and I'm not saying that we're wealthy at all, but I do believe it's really difficult to pay teachers according to how good they are outside of test scores, unless you have some legitimate system that can help teachers improve, can help teachers improve and it shows the growth in the teacher. Because right now there's a shortage in math and science and it's been like that since I've been in school. Now it's like a shortage in just like everything and it's really easy to point blame at a system that is supposed to be a resource. You know, when you hear people complain about that, it's because they were compromised before they could know that they're the foundation of the true education that their kids are supposed to be receiving.

You know, as a teacher, I've learned so much on the behaviors of kids. Four different states, two different countries. I recognize the kids are pretty much they're the same everywhere. The kids are only as good as the information that they know and depending on how that information is presented, it could be a really big problem or it could be a really great thing. But you know, everybody falls in the middle because, like I said, there's no guidelines on how to parent your kids.

But parenting has become an area that I strive to become better in because, again, like I said before earlier, putting your effort in becoming a better parent, it puts you in a different place later in life. And when I say that, I've seen parents that became better as time went on. But imagine becoming a better parent with your younger kids but your older kids never got that development and now you have to worry about that, like what they're doing at an older age, and it's like no peace. I've seen it in so many different generations and all I can do is pray for understanding that they did the best that they could. But you know, it's easier for me to say because I'm outside the bubble and being outside the bubble it gives me a different set of eyes and all I can do is just hope that the information that I'm given can help uh help their journey a little more, because I can see how it could tear somebody's insides up and nobody wants that for other people.

Like I said in previous episodes, there's a lot of sad people out there and after a certain age I can see how it wears down on you. I have a mother To me. I don't even know if she knows what happiness is and you know she laughs, but I think it's just moments, like my daily energy. I believe that I'm happy and I know a lot of times it doesn't seem that way, but I feel like I feel like it all the time and then when I have my mother or talk to my mother, it just seems like it's her day to day is just a sad place to be for anybody and you don't want your kids to go through. That, because every parent was a kid at some point alone is something that I want to reverse. You know that. What is that generational effect change, that generational curse on enjoying life? Because when you're happy, like I tell the students, the happier you are, the better you perform in whatever you're interested in or even not interested in. Just imagine if you're happy, you put in an effort that makes you want to do better, and if something's compromised your energy to where you don't care, then the effort is not going to be there, causing you to not care, and we all know that the more you care, the better the performance will be.

We are halfway through the month of February and I must say that it started off really well so far. Those of y'all that don't know, I am trying to come up with ideas to improve my routine. So if any of you guys have anything that you're doing that you feel like it's worth talking about or worth sharing, please put it down in the comments, because I want to improve my performance of the world. Y'all, make today better than yesterday. Don't worry about anything you can't control. G-a-t-a Get after that action or that action won't get after you. Be heard on purpose.