what up dope and welcome back to I'm growing man shaman john d in the building. Uh, happy new year again. I'm not for sure what episode this is, but I wanted to make sure I'm sending all optimistic and positive energy from my side to yours. Um, wanted, wanted to get on here and really dive into legacy. I'm hearing more and more about legacy and, as a man, until not even 30 minutes ago, my wife said something to me and made me just think and I'm like, oh my gosh. My wife said something to me and made me just think and I'm like, oh my gosh. So like, out of my father's children, the Lewis family, from my grandmother's children, it's only one, two, three, four, four Lewis's, 27 and under male Lewis's, and that's wild to me.

But I guess I got on here to really emphasize depending on where you are in life, the information you got could have already crippled whatever you thought your legacy was supposed to be because of mistakes you've made at a younger age. But that doesn't stop you from being the foundation of what it should become. And I don't know if well, this message is for those who need to receive it, because I never thought that I would be in this position. But just thinking about what I want to give to my kids, I don't, you know, at one point I wanted to give them like a great start financially, but I don't even know if that's the best, the best route, because you see rich kids, they don't always pan out. They may know what they're doing financially, but overall it's some type of insecurity, just just on a different level, and I'm just thinking. I think learning to create your own wealth will show you ultimately how to keep it and how to make it grow, unless that's just your field.

I don't really want my kids to go into finances. I think it can be draining and the people I know that play that game. You know their mind don't turn off. It's even on vacation or relax time. It's go mode all the time because every second is worth something. You know they may not be actively at something, but they're thinking about something that they could be doing to increase something and I don't want my kids to go through that. I want them to really go into a field that they feel like they can enjoy working for, to get better in.

And I didn't, I don't think. Well, I know I didn't have that intellectual capacity to approach college at that point because I was just trying to make a dollar, and I think that's what my generation is trying to do is trying to create a legacy in making sure that our kids don't go through what we went through. And now I will say there are some things that we probably shouldn't have gone through. But, with that being said, that doesn't mean that we can't give them what we've learned from it. You know, our kids are supposed to have it easier, but they're supposed to learn the lessons that we learn from going through Probably not your best parental guidance, but overall we want to make sure that they succeed when we're not around. And thinking about how I'm looking at this, I want the legacy of my family to be built on enjoying life, but doing it the right way. And right is definitely relative, but I want my kids to always live it the right way. Even if you have to get the shorter end of the stick, it's somebody supposed to get it before you and I believe that if you can allow somebody to go ahead or get this favor, you'll get yours when you need them. And I think a lot of times we don't look at that because it's a dog-eat-dog-dog world and that causes a lot of conflict, depending on where you're from, and the legacy I want with my kids I want them to treat any and whoever with respect, regardless of where they came from, and to appreciate the education that they've gotten, because everybody starts in different parts of the race and I know that my kids are in a different place and that doesn't mean that we're done parenting, because we want them to still be able to be on the right side. You know, you want to be on the fight of helping people to find ways to be successful and I think, overall my kids, they know that's what we want. We want to push that, whatever you decide to do, understand that we're still pushing for mankind to get better.

Having two kids, in comparison to thinking about, it's only four males left under the age of maybe her 29. So we got one, 29. One is about to be 18. One's about to be seven. Well, one just turned 16 and then like a three or four year old and time is just going by, but at some point we're going to, like the Lewis's are going to disappear and there's nothing that we can really do about it. You know, know, and I guess that's the point of this episode because I was just thinking how, two or three generations from now, we could literally be non-existent, unless you know one of the remaining four decides to have a bunch of babies.

But that's not even the best way to do it right, because parenting is, it's a journey in itself if you don't have people to give you information on how you're supposed to feel, what you're supposed to enjoy. People always just say enjoy it while you can, because when it's gone, yeah, but what are you supposed to enjoy? And I think, like a lot of times, it's like it's like a reflection period, like am I enjoying what I'm doing? Are the kids getting the most out of me? And thinking about where my father was in comparison to where I am and where my son will be when he has children. I'm just interested to see what it looked like, what it will look like, because I don't, I don't believe my father would have imagined I would have gotten to this place in life, because I didn't even imagine this. And what this place of life I'm talking about is like my father used to say he had to go to work to find peace, like we was driving him crazy and that's crazy to hear, right, but I enjoy my family so much. I don't think he, I don't think a lot of people understand how much I enjoy being around them and and I know, like my son and daughter is, they're they're not really around, but they're in the house and they're definitely teenagers.

And you know, at one point I was feeling a little certain type of way, like you know, you guys need to be around, but that's just a stage they go through, right, we can kind of force them, but I don't want them to be around unless they want to be around. And in order for me to make them want to be around, I would have to pre-plan and try to figure out what I could do to make everybody enjoy the moment. But overall, they're becoming, they're turning into, you know, their own personalities and we're going to let them do that. They're turning into their own personalities and we're going to let them do that. So to watch this develop as a father, like as a father who's looking for ways to improve, it's cool. But I would have loved some pointers in the beginning like, hey, this is going to happen, watch out for that.

You know, everybody don't always have that and, depending on where you are, like I said, mentally, you could really help your kids develop a different decision making tool. Like you know, I think our parents are afraid of us when we go out in the world because they think we're going to make bad decisions or whatnot. Right, they don't think that we're always thinking and in hindsight, our kids are way smarter than who we were at that age, and that's in any situation. Like you know, your seed is going to be a better version. You know they could, you know, be manipulated and have a poor life, but potentially they're supposed to be way better than their parents. So, thinking about where you start out in life, once you take control of your own thoughts and how you utilize your time, you'll create a whole different trajectory for your family.

And the reason why I know this? Because the things that my wife and I talk about I can't imagine my parents even getting together to do those things. Their relationship wasn't the best before. Of course they got divorced. But my kids they get to see what a healthy relationship looks like, even when we raise our voices, how we're supposed to deal with those situations. You know, out of all of us, I probably have the worst habits and that's just because of my childhood, but I'm more aware of how I'm speaking, or I'm trying to be, because I don't want anybody to feel like I'm verbally bullying them and it just, you know, it creates a different result and I've gotten to the point where, if I'm going to spend time with you, we're going to talk and you say some things I don't like. I shouldn't have to change my tone or make you feel uncomfortable because you said something that I don't agree with, you know. So, being here thinking about how I grew up it was a bunch of yelling, I mean, it was a lot of yelling in our household.

And to think about if my message is being received, I know that my kids are understanding or learning a different form of communication where I think we're passing on a legacy of making better decisions, where they're going to get their tough days. You know, my wife was like you know. I hope they don't have too many tough days but regardless of where they are, they're going to have something tough that's just for them and hopefully we've given them enough, enough guidance to let them know that they're capable of pulling through. You're supposed to be uncomfortable. That's how you grow. I realize that a lot of the struggle we go through. You may not like it, but it does. It makes it stronger. It's the too much struggle. That's what causes the most problems. When you got the struggle and you don't have any help, support and it just seems like everything is overwhelming and that could be tough.

These skills that we've acquired over the course of time, and try to say it for their vocabulary, for them, you know, to understand what we're saying. You know, like everybody says, what would you tell the 10 year self, 10 year version of you, or the 10 years younger than you? Your kids are who that is. So our job is to give them everything we can before they leave, because another chapter of life really starts and you know I don't, I know I say this a lot I guess it's at some point they're going to be able to look back and look at these videos and they'll see where we are and right now, where I am, like I'm, I'm excited, you know, about them going out there, but I want them to know that they can always come home and, you know, regroup and we'll figure another way out for them to be successful.

I don't want to pass on this message, like I want them to. Like always lean on me because I'm going to let them fall, you know. But I want them to feel confident. You know it's a difference in going out there bumping your head and you don't have to know. But if you go out there and you feel confident, sometimes things will sway, I mean slide your way or swing your way.

You know, just by being confident and you can learn the lesson because you'll be able to reflect. But I guess that's different skills for different people. But if you ever get to that point where you can reflect on the things that you win because a lot of people don't learn the lesson when you win and there's so many lessons there just got to know where to look. But I hope that you know in the generations to come that the legacies that people are trying to create are more intentional with the person they're trying to create a partnership with. Because we're out here making poor decisions and complaining about things we can't control versus focusing on what's going on inside the house. And that's the journey of life right there, building what it's supposed to look like on the inside, because outside's already made Y'all. Make today better than yesterday. Don't worry about anything you can't control. G-a-t-a Get after that action, or that actual get after you. Be good on purpose.