What up, though, and welcome back to. I'm Growing man. It's your man, john D, in the building. I want to get out here and really just talk about the difference between alpha and beta males. This is just my opinion and my analysis, observations through years. I think that sometimes we can come up with our own idea of what things mean, and it'll be just. It's just a layer of it.

A lot of times when I hear alpha males, I hear these are males that are leaders, they use their voice, they lead by example, they're aggressive, they make it happen, they hustle, they don't take no for an answer. All of these things, right, and I was thinking, like as a baby male, what determines that feature? So I figured that everybody would want to be an alpha male, right, but it takes certain things to separate you from the people around you, and I think that that kind of got lost in translation, because in my mind, an alpha male is, maybe it starts out like that. We start out as the leadership, or not the leadership, the aggressive, the voice, because we watched it and we take that as a sense of being dominant. But I think that's the immature version of alpha male. I think all males start out as an alpha as a point, and then we just we mimic or protect ourselves from the experiences we grow up in and kind of develops our perspective. But as you get older and you mature as a man, what separates you from the other ones? And this is what this is my determination. An alpha male looks to be accountable for 100 percent of the actions. Whenever anything happens, they can accept accountability. This is all going to be geared toward relationships because when I think of an alpha male, they want the relationship to work. They'll do whatever they can, but I don't think they know the options of what that actually looks like. An alpha male will get therapy, seek counseling male will get therapy, seek counseling, will do the necessary search to improve in a relationship.

A beta male to me is the immature version of the alpha male. They don't take the extra steps to make it happen. And when I say that I mean like growing up and listening to the poems. The messaging behind a lot of the poems is that we control our own fate and that comes through effort. And I feel like beta males will blame it on their partner. It was like you know, they didn't do this. They tricked me, they changed when we got married, things weren't the same.

An alpha male will be like. I chose this person, so therefore it's it's on me. No woman hijacks a man and if he does get hijacked, he didn't have the right people around him to prevent that from happening. And I'm not saying mistakes can't happen, but they can. So anybody that feel like they're an exception, this is not for you.

This is for the alpha males that believe that they have the qualities of being an alpha male but are practicing behaviors that, to me, don't reflect what an alpha male should look like. Of course, this is just my opinion, but if you're going to be the master of your soul and the captain of your fate, you have to do more than the people around you. If you look around you and you see people complaining about this and complaining about that, what are they doing to change that experience? I have a lot of friends, from young to old, and the common message that I get from men that are not successful in relationships is they blame it on their partner, and this is what I noticed too, after they divorce and they go their separate ways, and time goes by and you talk to that same man. That same man will say that they were too immature, they didn't know what they had. They don't blame it on that person anymore because they realize that they made the decision. But they got caught up in the environment saying it's okay to put it on their partner but at the end of the day you both lose. But an alpha male is not going to have that loss and I know that people have fallen prior and this really isn't for them because they didn't get the information. But now it's too much information out here for us to make the same mistakes as the previous men who did not figure it out. It takes a special person to be able to create a relationship that is beneficial for all parties involved. That's a feat.

I know a lot of people feel like you have this, you can find your soulmate, and you can find your soulmate. It just means that you enjoy the journey a little more with them. But it's going to get difficult regardless. It's going to make you think like, should I be in this? And if you put the effort in, you deserve to be in it, you deserve the fruits from it. But if you don't select the right partner, that journey could look like it was pointless and then you become the beta male.

And when I say the beta male is because you decided not to hustle in that realm of life Like an alpha male is going to find every, any and every way possible to make this thing work. And if you notice, 50% of the world end up in divorces. The other 50% how many of them, are actually happy and feel like they made the right decision? And that could be scary for anybody who's single or being raised by parents like that. That would make a lot of people want to say you know what? I can, just have fun by myself. But I believe as we move on we learn more information. Of course, but friendship is essential to the soul and without it people die lonely. And I see that often with men and I don't want that to happen at the rate it's been happening at the rate it's been happening.

So hopefully my experience, my age, will be able to give back and say hey, if you're going to play that game, do your due diligence and find the person you're supposed to be with, not because they look really good or they said things that make you feel good, or you like what they had on, or their family came from this Like you have to put everything into consideration. Like I said, alpha males aren't perfect, but they're determined to not lose any game that they participate in. And being in a relationship is a game, and I don't know anybody who wants to lose. But if you don't do what successful people have done in relationships or consider those options, you're going to end up following what the rest of your environment has been doing, and that's finding a way out, and that's what changes the alpha male to a beta male. If your partner wants to leave, your job is to do any and everything you can to make sure that they don't want to leave because they didn't feel like that in the beginning.

And, believe it or not, marriage is supposed to change you. You're supposed to improve and become better people so that you guys can compliment each other on a different level. But if we don't look at it that way, we're going to be upset because we're going to change regardless. Men are going to change a little. It's going to be a little more difficult if they don't have the mindset that they're supposed to change. But if you get in a mindset that you can change for the better or you can change for the worse, and a lot of times, if you don't change, that's for the worse, because you're supposed to be finding ways to improve. So the young people who are not interested in relationships I hope that you understand this. If anything, if you want a relationship, it's going to take an effort that probably your parents haven't even done, and I do know this for a fact. If you put the work into it, it will work like. You can't put work into it and then get caught up in distractions that could make your work null and void. You have to put the work in 100 percent. If you can't put it in 100 percent, you probably shouldn't be in a relationship, and that's again will separate Alpha and Beta. Beta men will believe that they can get into a relationship and make it work, and they find out that it's the other person's fault, and until they realize that they control the entire process, they will remain Beta men.

Period Maturity is really important. If you don't know who you are, how are you going to introduce yourself to somebody who's supposed to build with you? And the way we've been approaching relationships, I understand why people are single. Because it looks scary out there. You feel like the person that you pick is not going to be the right person. It's just because of the process of how you select your partner is all wrong. It's all wrong If you cannot get to know your partner without physical contact.

You're not mature enough to do well in a relationship. I'm not saying you can't get there, but it's going to be way more difficult. And when I say difficult I mean like when the physical appeal wears off and the newness of it all wears off. What did you learn about this person that makes you say you know what this was worth it? Because the physical appearance that wears off on anybody. You're just happy at the moment because maybe you feel like you didn't deserve that or this is something that you've always wanted. But if you don't get to know that person, you may get something you never wanted and it was disguised by a pretty ribbon.

So I challenge any and all males to find ways to mature before getting into a relationship and I know that we have relationships as a regular thing from middle school to high school. And I tell my students, I tell all the girls I said boys are stupid at this point and some of them are like Mr Louis, you're a boy. I said yeah, I know, it took me a long time to realize that I didn't know what I was doing. And how can you get in a relationship? I tell them, how can you get in a relationship and adults can't even do it? I said this is the time for you to be trying to master your craft in all of these subject areas, to get smarter, because once you create that foundation, you will caught up by what people think is important. And then, if you get that most kids are, if they don't have parents that interact with them daily, they're getting their information from their peer group.

So just imagine a young male trying to create a relationship and they haven't even figured out who they are. That's just a mess, like a mess that nobody wants. I'm not saying you can't find your lifelong partner in middle school or high school, but it's unlikely and even if you do find that person, that's a long road ahead to be the ones to be like. You know I made it. It's very few you have to put in the work to get to know your partner. Another thing for alpha males and beta males when a beta male matures and hopefully this is before an age where they start to understand that they followed the wrong message I'm trying to catch them in before that happens.

Because, as I approach 50, I just think about the blessings that I have in the position that I'm in, and my most proud accomplishment is the relationship I created with my wife, because I know that one day my kids will be gone and my wife will be here and we have a relationship where we can look forward to being with each other like just us. And if you don't do that, you don't create that. It looks more like a finish line, like you know, you're gonna start something new. You know, I know a lot of people stay stay in a relationship for the kids and I'm not gonna lie, that's probably the best reason why you should stay in a relationship is for the kids. But the next best reason is because you're looking to create this relationship with your partner so that your kids can see a healthy relationship, so that they can attract the energy that can complement them when they get older.

But if you don't mature in the relationship, you're hoping your kids figure it out, and I know that a lot of times we are really selfish because it's how we feel. But you're supposed to think about that before you pick your partner. You can't say that after you have kids. Well, you can say that it's just going to be a tougher pill to swallow, because I'm telling you, if you're not dealing with it now in your mind, when your kids become adults and they have these questions, you're going to have to deal with it at some point. And I don't know how men feel, but I know how I would feel if I didn't get this together and I lost my family.

And sometimes you just have to have to know that you didn't have enough information to complete this part of the process, that you didn't have enough information to complete this part of the process. And going back to being an alpha male, an alpha male will find any and every way to be successful in every part of life, including the relationship. And once you hear somebody not accepting accountability, that's going to determine the maturity of that person. One thing I told one of my friends I was, like you know, alpha males. They make things happen. Beta males, they wait for things to happen and if you're not making them happen, you're ready to create an excuse, because people who make things happen with intentional effort creates a result where it makes sense after it's been completed. But if you don't do that work. You'll be waiting for a long time to get what you think you deserve. In hindsight, you're probably getting what you deserve because you didn't put the work in that you had no clue it took to get what you wanted.

I want to say this has been a wonderful year. I want to send everybody out a happy new year. I want you to find ways to make sure that this year is even more productive than you've ever been in your life, and those of you that have been on this routine on a daily basis. Find ways to improve. I commend you another year's down and just imagine where you were last year. We're going to be able to do this again, so make sure you live in the moment. You make today better than yesterday and don't worry about anything you can't control. G-a-t-a Get after that action or that action will get after you. Be great on purpose you.