growNman
growNman
I am growNman 105
But that's not all—in the second chapter, I reveal how starting a new creative pursuit like painting can become a metaphor for personal evolution. As I take on the challenge of creating art for my daughter's birthday, I explore the power of daily improvement and the importance of consistent effort in achieving our goals. This creative endeavor is a testament to the belief that small daily actions can culminate in profound transformations. I challenge you to seize control of what you can today and make a commitment to better yourself with each sunrise. Let's forge ahead together, cultivating the future we're capable of crafting through dedication and resilience.
what up, though, and welcome back to I'm growing man. It's your man, john d, in the building. Um, today's moment of interest, uh, is focusing on listening. Um, I don't know if any of you guys have been working with chat gpt, but I kind of gave kind of like a synopsis of the things I'm doing and if there's any information out there that can help me. And one of the topics they came up with is listening and the reason why they came up with it because I said that at some point I'm going to do a fast from talking. Some of you guys would ask why am I doing a fast from talking? But the information that I've learned from doing that will allow you to listen more.
Speaker 1:A lot of times we believe we know what the other person's saying and it kind of gets us in unnecessary arguments. Another reason why I'm doing this is because I want to come up with better questions. If I'm actually listening and I'm into the conversation, which I should always be into it if somebody is sharing something with me or vice versa but to pay attention to body language, facial expressions, habits they may do while they're talking and other things. I think this will make me a more effective communicator. I really just want to be an option to people for peace, to be an option to people for peace. I feel like I've been working on this version of me for a little over five years and I finally got into the point where I can actually break down the areas that I want to improve, and the number one thing is communication. But within that is listening, and I think a large population of us are ready to answer a question before it's even completed, because we want to help the person we're talking to. It's not to get the conversation over, but we feel like the way that we would approach it, that somebody else would approach it the same way and we don't put into perspective that we come from different walks of life. We had different parents, different environments, different expectations and I'm learning that. I'm learning that everybody didn't grow up like me and I know I'm pretty old. Actually, going in a perspective where you're learning the person you're talking to will give you more information, because if you're looking to understand versus being understood, you will reduce the misunderstandings people have.
Speaker 1:Another reason why I want to fast is I want to reduce unsolicited advice. Unsolicited advice this is what I learned. It comes from a perspective as if I'm a know-it-all, and the way that I present information because I feel like I'm doing the work to be a resource to others, that it comes off as a know-it-all or arrogant. Anything that would turn somebody off from receiving the information and listening will allow me to remove my poor habits of offering anything because that's probably not what they're here for. And that was tough for me because in my head I always want somebody to give me some suggestions so that I can improve, but hasn't always, it hasn't always, gone in my favor.
Speaker 1:Um, and I guess that's the reason why, overall, I don't want to argue with people and I don't want people to misunderstand me. So if I can only worry about things I can control, I can't worry about argue with people, and I don't want people to misunderstand me. So if I can only worry about things I can control, I can't worry about my audience. I have to worry about the things that are coming out of my education, all of that stuff that they're not even here for. You know, we automatically assume that we're this source of information that the person is there for, and sometimes they just need to listen in here. You don't even have to say anything. I've learned this too that everybody believes that they're working on themselves, but everybody is working on themselves at different rates, and because my sole intention is to improve on a daily basis, I automatically hold people accountable to doing the things that I'm doing, and that's not fair to them, because everybody gets to that point in life at different times.
Speaker 1:I just know that I wasn't the easiest person to talk to about growth, because I really thought I figured it out and the last five years getting to this point where I'm thinking about just not talking. Now I do want to say this. My wife was like so what are we supposed to do? Like I said, I can write, you know, but I'm going to probably do it when I don't have to work, hopefully maybe this winter break or no later than the summer. I want to do a week. Some of the feedback that I hear from other people who do it you hear things that you didn't know. That was that's happening. You know you start to recognize a body language that you don't pay any attention to because you just weren't programmed to do so. So before I go on this, this vow of silence for a week I do want to work on. I want to work on conversation practices that can get the most out of people. So I'm going to give you a few pointers that I've learned that I'm trying to practice now, like when somebody's talking to you and they ask you a question or they give you a statement to reduce conflict, you should paraphrase and make sure you heard it correctly and you should ask questions in return just to make sure that you're answering a question that they're asking.
Speaker 1:A lot of times people will assume they asked a specific question but, being that we come from different places, certain words weigh differently than others and you may not answer the question or you may offend someone. I've noticed when you offend someone, it's a trigger that goes off that you don't even know until they say something in a tone that you don't like. And, being that I was immature for many years, if I heard a tone or something, I wouldn't even ask like, hey, is everything okay? I noticed that you said something and it sounded like you had an attitude or you sounded like I might have offended you, and I want you to know that I didn't do it on purpose. If you could help me, help me learn what I did so that I don't do it again, because a lot of times in conversations we assume that the other person knows what they're doing.
Speaker 1:But everybody's disrespect is different. I want everybody to know that If I disrespect you and it's not on purpose, then it's not disrespect. Disrespect has to be on purpose, and asking questions for clarification will reduce a lot of triggers that you may say to offend other people, lot of triggers that you may say to offend other people, and nobody wants to be disrespected but for some reason people believe disrespect is a common tongue when some people have gone through things that you wouldn't even imagine and it's going to take a lot to disrespect them. And then there's going to be some people that didn't go through anything and they're going to take things as a form of disrespect and, depending on what they look like or your confidence in yourself, you may not be able to apologize because of how they responded and that's not going to get you anywhere. So these podcasts that I've been doing on a weekly basis is to show you, guys, things that I'm doing to improve so that we can change the environment we live in. I found this peace by working on myself intentionally on a daily basis, so much peace that I want to share the information that I black and hopefully, when these podcasts are found, that people can take the messages that I'm trying to give and messages may not be for you, but it's coming from the best place that I can think of and I think the information I'm giving can only improve a result that you don't even know you can do. I do know that Working in schools communication is all over the place and to try to teach students how to talk to each other, they say some disrespectful things and then they say I'm playing.
Speaker 1:But they don't understand that, regardless if they're playing or not, they're offending somebody and that person is developing some type of trauma or trigger to make sure it doesn't happen again. And a lot of times kids don't understand that if you're friends, it's not okay to hurt your feelings, even though if you didn't mean to do it. But you don't know that because you're just learning as kids. So my job is to work on communication so that I can show them a better way to communicate with each other, and it all comes down to just being more aware of what people are saying, even students. I know they're kids, but they don't. They don't come to school to mess up. You know, they learn that some of their behaviors are not the best practices and it's our job to curb them. So I hope that when I do go on this fast of talking, that I learn a lot about myself and learn some key components in communication that can help me understand. When you understand, you make better decisions, and a lot of times we don't understand anything. We're confused because it's mixed messaging. So when I do go on this fast, I definitely will have some videos prepared, because I won't be able to do a video that week, but hopefully I can do it over the break winter break and it'd be another month or so, another three weeks, and if not, another month or so, another three weeks, and if not, I will definitely keep you guys abreast of my journey as it continues to evolve into this enjoyment that I was never taught about.
Speaker 1:I'm going to end it, but I wanted to share something. If you guys look up here, this is one of the paintings that I'm working on. I just put it up because I'm in a new location and this is like my seventh canvas and I want to show you what it look like in the dark and this is not glow-in-the-dark paint or anything, but it's pretty cool. The reason why I'm showing you this is because it's another area of me working on myself to improve understanding the process of art. I feel like over the course of time another 20 years I should be pretty good because I'm taking it really seriously. Uh, I'll show you another piece I got. I was working on this one. Let's even do it in any uh, horizontal or vertical um this.
Speaker 1:Like I said, I started my daughter's birthday in March, the end of March, and I've been creating pieces to get better, to learn the process of things that make the world go around, and I'm excited to share my stuff. But I probably won't show anything else until I get really good. But I wanted to show you guys because I mentioned it before on one of my podcasts that I took up painting and I really enjoy it. So I challenge all you guys to find an area that you would like to improve or add and make it a daily basis that you work on it, because over the course of time, those minutes accumulate and you become a different person and you only benefit from the work you put in. An old friend of mine said you got to put your own work in around here. Y'all make today better than yesterday. Don't worry about anything you can't control. G-a-t-a Get after that action or that action will get after you. Be great on purpose.