growNman
growNman
I am growNman 103 Overcoming Distractions: Cultivating Purposeful Living and Strengthening Bonds Through Intentional Choices
Ever wondered how distractions are silently sabotaging your success? Join me on a journey towards a more purposeful life as I share my personal experiences of overcoming habits like drinking and gambling that hindered my growth. Learn how replacing these distractions with meaningful pursuits not only aligns with personal and familial goals but also cultivates peace and strengthens relationships. We tackle the comforts of complacency head-on, urging listeners to proactively pursue self-improvement and new knowledge to live a life that truly resonates with their values and aspirations.
Balancing work and personal life isn't just a challenge; it's a necessity for true fulfillment. Discover how cutting back on sports allowed me to be more present with my family, leading to deeper connections. This episode sheds light on the myth of quick financial gains versus the profound rewards of consistent effort in meaningful endeavors. By learning from successful individuals, you can fast-track your journey and avoid unnecessary pitfalls. Embrace the mantra "GATA" (Get After That Action) as a call to infuse each day with purpose and intention, ensuring you leave a legacy of real value and deep connections.
what up, though, and welcome back to. I'm growing man. It's your man, john d, in the building. I came on here to really talk about something else, but what's on my mind right now are distractions. Um work. Depending on where you are in, distractions can keep you from getting to where you think you're supposed to get.
Speaker 1:In my life overall, I used to believe that distractions were a part of my life. For example, I used to drink regularly, I used to gamble, I used to go out. As long as I was at home by a certain time, I felt like I was doing what I needed to be doing. I went to work regularly Like I was doing what I needed to be doing. I went to work regularly, but I realized the distractions was preventing me from getting to this place that I'm in now. I've had time to reflect. I've been trying to use words and put them together where people can be like I understand where he is or how he got there, because the life I was living there was just too much room for error. And not that I was looking for problems, it was just that I thought that was the life that I was supposed to live, and you know, being in different organizations. We have these models and mission statements, values, and you see it, but you rarely see a lot of it practiced. See it, but you rarely see a lot of it practiced. And well, at least the people that I found found entertaining enough for me to want to be around. I thought I wanted to be around. That type of energy that's fun.
Speaker 1:I just realized that, regardless of how fun it is, it was preventing me from learning to get my house in order. When I say get my house in order, I mean what it's supposed to look like, regardless of what's going on outside. And I wasn't very present in the sense of being in the moment. I was only present for, like, when I'm being spoken to or doing something I didn't know how, who were doing something wasn't really. I didn't know how you know, but these last four or five years have taught me that when you don't know how, it is your responsibility to go find out how you can become better, because there are many blind spots that my kids will have because I just didn't know or didn't have to give to them. And learning how to do this now makes me more confident when they come to me for questions with questions, and I have a better way of answering them.
Speaker 1:Reducing the distractions in your life will get you closer to a peace that I can't really explain, but I believe that if you believe that you're that important, you'll put in not only the work but you'll look for new information that you never learned and you'll learn to apply it to your daily routine and you'll become I don't want to say a happier person, which that's a part of it, but it's something more than just happiness. It's like more of a sense of purpose, like you realize how you almost got caught up with the hoopla around you and you may have grew up with the hoopla and said this is what I do, this is how I grew up, but if it wasn't benefiting your family or if it's not benefiting your family, you're just finding ways to get caught up and not saying that's your intent. But I've seen too many people fall from doing bad behaviors. You know one thing leads to another and then it's like how did I get here? So I really wanted to just focus on removing distractions and I will say if you're going to remove a distraction, you have to replace it with something that you feel like you want to become better in, because if you don't have nothing to fill that void, you're going to feel bored. And they say, idle minds find bad things to do, and not necessarily bad, but things that's not in your best interest. So you have to be really intentional with what you want to replace something that's not that beneficial.
Speaker 1:I'm not even saying this, I'm not saying that you have to remove all your distractions, but you should know how to control them where they're not preventing you from getting to this place you want to get to. And if you're not trying to get to that place, you know what that means. You have reached a level of comfort, and comfort is the kryptonite for new successes and I've seen it. I've been a part of it. I've been trying to show other people how to not find comfort. Comfort is it's the devil. I'm telling you, if you're not working to get better, then that means you're tired or lazy, because we definitely have the energy to improve and get better in any and everything we want to and whatever you think you want. If you haven't gotten it, it's because you haven't worked hard enough or you haven't found the information that's supposed to get you closer to whatever that is supposed to be.
Speaker 1:I've been practicing this life for over five years now and I can see the benefits of the relationship with my wife, the relationship with my kids and even the relationship with the people outside of my household with my kids and even the relationship with the people outside of my household. And when I say that, I mean any and everybody, because they recognize the energy I bring and it's made me more credible in the things that I believe in like because I'm practicing it, I write it down, I do research. I want to know how other people are, what other people are getting from improving their day to day. You know, when you're not happy with your day to day, you look toward, you look forward to events that may not even come. When today is really. The best thing you can do is by creating a routine where, if you do everything you're supposed to do today, tomorrow is good. But we have to get into that mindset. You have to believe you're that important where you are supposed to do important things every single day. If you're not doing important things every single day because you say you're tired, you're comfortable, you're good, you have no idea how important you are. Only you are able to get whatever you're supposed to have Me. Giving you this information is pointless if you don't put it into practice. So understand.
Speaker 1:Removing distractions how about this? Knowing that you have distractions, because everybody has them. I'll give you an example for me I removed watching sports on a regular basis because it was taking up so much of my time that I felt like I do more about professional athletes' stats and wins versus what was going on in my house. And not saying I was doing it on purpose. It's just that you know, you learn that as a man, we love sports and that's our vice and it's OK. But it was just occupying so much of my time that I didn't realize that the moments with my family were getting far few in between, because at some point my kids are going to graduate and leave, our kids are going to graduate and leave, and then my wife and I are going to be different people and I don't want to be those those old people that say time go by so fast. Make sure you enjoy the moments and I know they are, they're going, it's going by fast, but I wanted to actually be in the moment and hopefully some of you guys who started out as parents or seasoned parents that you guys are.
Speaker 1:Maximize your opportunities, because I see people complaining about their life because they were not as present as they should have been with their kids, and typically as men, because men are in the mindset that they have to make the money and they're working making this money for their family and I haven't seen a man who, with their kids gone, it says that they're happy they did all of that work and the kids have trauma from a father who was given financially but those kids missed out on what fathers are supposed to give their kids because they were outside of the household making the money for opportunities that their kids didn't even ask for. And I've learned that the hard way also. But we live and we learn and hopefully the next generation after us will know that being in a household is way more important than making all of the money to for trips or for to create moments. You can make moments every single day. You just have to do it on purpose. Whatever you think you're good in, think about how you got good in it and understand if you want to get good at anything, you're going to have to put the work in.
Speaker 1:But this is what I've recognized that separates most men through our life, it's the amount of effort they put in and things that they want. And if most of your effort goes into your day job and you're tired when you get off, that means you're not very happy. I don't know anybody who wants to put in all of their energy into a job and retirement is so long away. So I'm telling you, if you have the energy, it's not if create the energy to work on something that can develop over a course of time. Everybody wants this get rich scheme, get rich quick scheme. I'm not saying that they don't work. It is highly unlikely. You're the one that's going to make it work. Those are called distractions. Everything that you want is going to take a different type of effort that the internet makes it seem like it can happen immediately. These people that are really good at what they do. They've been doing it for years. These people that come on telling you you can make $10,000 a month if they're really doing it. They've been doing it for years, so don't get caught up in it.
Speaker 1:If you end up following any of these paths to money, understand you have to put the work in, because if you don't, you're going to be disappointed that you wasted time into something that you're not even interested in because you were only thinking about how much money you can make. That's the biggest takeaway I see from people starting new businesses or interest. They put all this work into it and don't crack the ground of where you're supposed to reap the benefits because they thought it was supposed to come sooner. That's a disappointing way to realize you don't want to do something. It shouldn't be over the money, and if it is money, you have to work harder. You have to work longer. You're not doing enough. If you're spending time, if you're enjoying the fruits of your labor, you either really owe or you're really good at what you do. But if you're enjoying the fruits of your labor and you are not happy, you're having too much fun. You have to work hard now and play later. Playing now is going to allow you to work harder later, unfortunately, and it's going to make you complain more, talking about retirement or different things you want to do to make money so that you can be happy.
Speaker 1:Whatever you're doing, no matter if you like it or not, go hard and do it so good where somebody recognize. Why is this person in this position? We need to move this person out, because if you don't do that, you're going to complain for the rest of your life. Those of you that really want more out of life research what you want. Find out who's doing it. They did, they did something. You can go learn what they did and you put the work in.
Speaker 1:Don't recreate the wheel. Reinvent the wheel whatever they say, because a lot of times we put in working areas we don't even need working but we think we have this idea. Go see or watch somebody who's already doing it. Figure out how you can incorporate it. Incorporate it in your life and do it and do it. You may get there faster than they did because they did all of the hard work or the experiences that they help you from going into Starting something new because you like it. You find a lot of heartbreaking things that you haven't seen before, but if you follow somebody who's already done it, you can learn from that person. But you have to believe that you can do it and put the work that's necessary to achieve it. Y'all make today better than yesterday. Don't worry about anything you can't control GATA, get after that action or the actual get after you. Be great on purpose.