growNman
growNman
I am growNman 98 Embracing Intentional Growth in Relationships and Education: Transforming Bonds through Communication and Mastering the Craft of Teaching
Have you ever considered treating your relationship as seriously as your career? Discover how I transformed my bond with my wife from mere co-parenting to a profound partnership by applying intentional communication and effort. This episode unravels the journey of how prioritizing our relationship, just like one would with a career, has led to a deeper connection and unique happiness. You'll hear firsthand how respecting boundaries and engaging in consistent, meaningful conversations have allowed us to find a joy and fulfillment I never thought possible, with my wife now as my closest friend.
On a parallel path of growth, I tackle the challenges of being a dedicated educator in today's world. As a passionate math teacher, I've committed to perfecting my craft to make math both engaging and relevant for my students. This episode delves into the continuous journey of self-improvement, focusing on creating a learning environment where students appreciate math by seeing the value in practice and persistence. Learn how by controlling what I can and honing my skills, I aim to inspire both personal and professional growth, encouraging everyone to make each day better than the last.
what up, dog and welcome back to I'm growing man shaman jai d in the building. Well, you know, I had, uh, I had like an idea of how I wanted to start approaching, uh, these podcasts to have a little more substance, of watching me grow as a person, and this is wearing to. Definitely three and a half years I've been podcasting and actually maybe four, I don't know, but on a weekly week to base. It's like every week you know some content. Um, and I ran across on this day. It was just talking about me and how I looked at relationships and the messaging we got Well, at least my peer got, my peer group got when we were younger, just to try to change the idea of the approach.
Speaker 1:I was talking about doing 10,000 hours and just conversations with your lady like me and my wife was just talking. I was like I said, hey, you know, we put out a conversation out every week. I said we probably have a million of those conversations all whenever we're around each other. Always, we just get on the couch and shoot, we talk about whatever we want and we go pretty in depth and because we want to like truly understand how we complement each other. And I don't think that was the intent in the beginning, because we want to truly understand how we complement each other, and I don't think that was the intent in the beginning. My intent was just to show her that I value her and I think over the course of time it's created something that I've never read and it's pretty dope too, because I have a feeling. I have an emotional feeling that I don't think anybody can truly understand unless they go through this process, and we're grateful that our relationship has grown so much.
Speaker 1:To be honest, like I said, I just wanted her to know that she was appreciated and it was tough to know that I was doing things wrong, because I really thought I was doing things the way that I was supposed to be doing. So invest in the time into the relationship on purpose, I told her. I said do you remember when we used to just pass each other Because she worked third shift and I worked I mean first shift, I mean that was an education and then I had a cigar lounge like we, we were just parenting, we weren't like in a relationship. I guess we were in a relationship, we just weren't active and I was just thinking about how many years like we went to one when we went abroad. We started to date and I just didn't understand. I really didn't, um, I didn't understand what she needed, because I had the mindset that I wanted her to be happy. But you know, like I didn't want to like overextend myself, I didn't see a point in that. I didn't, I really didn't, you know. But she's worth it, so why wouldn't I do it? And since, changing my mindset, our relationship is.
Speaker 1:It's worth talking about, as crazy as it sounds. It is Because I think if people approached relationships like with research, before actually going into it, they would get a different result through physical contact, or how they make you feel, or how you don't think about nothing when they're around, or any of that, without doing your research. You're hoping that they're bad habits you can live with, because everybody know it, everything new is always fun. But if you want to be with somebody for the rest of your life, I I highly suggest you approach it as if it's the job of their life. You know, not saying you're not going to put your work in, but if you do enough research you can get out of a bad situation. That's just the beginning, though. I just I feel like you can approach a relationship to that degree, you have a lot less headaches that people that are in seasoned relationships have. But even when you get to the relationship part, you guys when this is your person you need to talk every single day, throughout the day, like you'll have time where you won't talk, but you, what you want to do is you want to have as many different conversations as possible so you can understand or try to recognize boundaries and why they're there. Are you questioning? You got to ask really tough questions because if you don't, you're assuming you know how they're supposed to feel. Nobody wants to do it like that, not that I'm in love, and I just suggest everybody that's in a relationship work on it like you're trying to get a raise. Because this is the way I look at it If you work on your relationship intentionally, it's a different happiness that you haven't felt before.
Speaker 1:Sometimes people don't want to come home because they know there's a possibility of whatever that could happen. I haven't felt like not coming home because I wanted to go somewhere else In a very long time. I enjoy coming home and I feel like I know people used to talk about me time. I enjoy our relationship so much. I'm looking forward to grow, continue to grow. I feel like at some point, people are going to understand the information I'm trying to deliver and they're going to try to participate, and I want us to have so many hours into building this relationship into deaf doers part, where I'm like they really got to know each other.
Speaker 1:That's how she made me feel. I feel like if I knew that I could get here, I wouldn't a I don't know how many mistakes, but there would have been a a thousand percent less mistakes if I knew how to get here, if I knew that this place existed. Creating this relationship with her has been my greatest joy. I didn't even know you could do that. You know, I guess when you know when people talk about they married their best friend and all of that, I used to be crazy to me, like how I couldn't understand that, and she's definitely become my best friend. I'm just grateful enough to to be try to like do any and everything I can for her, because I wouldn't be this man I am today if she didn't give me that grace, like there would be a time where you know just growing up, you know you don't have the best examples of what a relationship should look like, and people that shouldn't be important to you can influence you would think that it's supposed to look a certain way to them.
Speaker 1:I just hope that the young people of the world that's looking to actually get married or approach marriage that way that they do their due diligence on the research of the person they want to be with, and when I say that I mean like, really get to know them, find out how they care about their parents, like, because I tell you this, flags are real. You can bypass them all you want, but if you ain't ready to deal with it, it's going to come anyway. So please keep that in consideration and we as men have to stop being so shallow and looking for our mate the garrets. I think that messaging was crazy, but I hope, um, y'all understand where I'm coming from. I'm going to try to give, I guess, some information that maybe from a year ago and just see if I can continue to like push an idea that a relationship could be the most valuable thing you could ever create if you do it on purpose.
Speaker 1:I don't think there's an amount of money that could be better than the relationship you create with the person you're supposed to be with. And when I say that, how about this? If you were somebody that you don't want to be with or you don't know yet, it can still work. You just got to work harder, like if you put yourself in that situation. I promise every relationship you're going to have to put the work in and if you don't do it on purpose, nothing changes, and I can say this proudly.
Speaker 1:Since I've been back from the UAE, I've worked every single day on our relationship to some capacity and I love that's what I'm saying like I didn't know how long it was going to take, but I'm glad I did it and it's like a practice of life now. So I'm just gonna do it for the rest of my life. He was like don't you think you're doing too much? I was doing too much. I'm enjoying life like, I'm happy, like I enjoy going to work. So the idea that I could come home to this, that's a beautiful day and it's only. It's only me just sharing what I wish I would have known a little sooner.
Speaker 1:So, no matter how old you are, if you want a beautiful relationship, understand that you have to become vulnerable. You have to like. It's almost like getting naked in front of a crowd, you got to give that person that, and if they take advantage of you, that's really weird. That is really weird. I don't know, like, if you did your due diligence, like I'm telling you this, you don't really make mistakes like that. Well, I guess I just lied you. Yeah, I've seen a lot of people make mistakes and I made that up and I was gonna really try to say something nice to people. But people be messing up and people be messing up because of poor messaging. Then that's what I'm saying. Like I look, I failed a lot of times in different things because I was following the wrong messaging. So now I don't know how many hours me and my wife got, but I don't think there's a couple out there that got more than she and I. It is. I would love to talk to them like I think she and I, like we look forward to seeing how each other's day was and it's like it ain't even like we don't shoot the well. We really be talking like what happened.
Speaker 1:Like, even at work, we try to figure out, you know, how we can make work be even more efficient. You know what do you see, you know you could do this, or you know like, because me working with kids, I want to be the coldest teacher they've ever had in existence. So I only way I can do that is by continuously working on my craft of becoming a better educator and learning how to deliver math where they'd be like I learned a lot and they can only get that as if I'm constantly getting better and I've never felt this way. You know like I'm not saying I'm the best math teacher, but I think I can create an environment where they find math more important than they did before they do their work. And math is all about practice. The more practice you do, the better you become. I think that's the universe saying. I got to end. But y'all make today better than yesterday. Don't worry about anything you can't control. G-a-t-a Get after that action or that action and get after you. Be great on purpose.