growNman
growNman
I am growNman 84 Embracing the Essence of Effective Parenting: Crafting Thriving Environments Through Respectful Communication and Responsible Discipline
What if you could transform your parenting approach and create a thriving environment for your children? This episode of "I'm Growing Man" with Shemaine and John D is your guide to mastering the essentials of effective parenting. We promise you'll gain invaluable insights into developing a strong relationship with your co-parent, grounded in mutual respect and open communication. Discover how dedicating time to self-improvement in communication skills and understanding your children's perspectives can lead to a more meaningful and engaging relationship with your kids. We'll also highlight the pitfalls of overcompensating with material possessions and how to foster a supportive and nurturing environment through responsible discipline.
Join us as we unpack the complexities of parenting, shedding light on the motivations behind children's actions and the importance of maintaining open communication lines. Fear-based discipline can have long-lasting negative effects, so we emphasize the need for parents to be approachable and supportive. You'll learn about striking the right balance between providing enough support and not stifling your child's creativity or confidence. We also reflect on the impact of technology on parenting and the benefits of documenting your journey for future reflection. By the end of this episode, you'll be equipped with strategies to set a positive example, manage your emotions, and strive for continuous self-improvement on your parenting journey.
what up, though, and welcome back to I'm growing man. Shemaine. John d in the building wanted to get on here and just talk about in my opinion, of course, uh, some of the best things that a parent can give their kids. First and foremost, uh, a really good relationship. I think that if we start off with the right mindset about adult activities, we can reduce the amount of mistakes we have with not giving our kids the best start. But I do believe, for the younger generation who have not yet started their quest to multiply, I think that finding somebody who can ultimately compliment you to bring the best out of you is the perfect recipe for raising children. I don't know any kid that wouldn't want that. You know two parents that got along, and when they did get along, they figured it out without being as abusive as it could be. And when I say that in the beginning, you're still learning each other's boundaries, and I do believe relationships can change through time if one knows that the way that they're speaking could improve. Not saying that anybody's wrong, it's just that the way that we speak to each other can always get better.
Speaker 1:Another thing you can give your kids the time it takes to learn how to be a parent. There's no manual on how to be a parent. Now. There are a lot of books people can read. That's if they have the time to do so, and if you do have the time, I highly recommend you read as many different perspectives on how to be a parent, because the better your eyes are, the more ways your kids will be exposed to success.
Speaker 1:I do believe that life is wherever you are in life. There's a way to achieve whatever you're supposed to, but depending on what you believe in could limit how much effort you're going to actually put into making whatever you think you're supposed to have come true. I know that was a lot, but I do believe that parents can make their kid's journey difficult or can make it easier. Well, I guess I would say this the only way parents can make their kids journey more difficult if they're on drugs, because I don't think any adult in their right mind would want to hinder their kids from doing better than the opportunities that they had. Now, this is just my experience. It might be some heron out there that thinks differently, and I hope that's not so, but I do believe 100% of the parents that I've had to interact with only wanted the best for their kids. Now they may not have the best actions on coming up with solutions for them, but they wanted the best intentions. So I think that parents need to be given the time to make those mistakes and if we're, I can say if we're better communicators and when I say better communicators I mean the intent of improving every day, I think, because we believe we can understand certain words that that's it and it's more than that.
Speaker 1:A lot of times, I think we misuse words and depending on where you grow up, you know certain things can mean more than others. So I believe that as a parent, you have to remember like your kid only knows what you've pretty much put in front of them. The only time that they get something new is when they go to school, but at the end of the day, you're creating the foundation for them. You know you're sending them out to the schools to get the education that you feel like they could use to propel them later in life. But at home, it's your job to give them everything that you had that was good and find out other things that you didn't get so that they can have them. And I think that as a kid, I was thinking like there is a such thing that a parent can give too much and it could cripple the kid as far as how much creativity they would come up with to achieve a goal, how much more studying they'll do to pass a test, depending on how parents are to pass a test.
Speaker 1:Depending on how parents are, I believe discipline and consistency will set up a boundary for your kid's success and I think that, depending on who your parents are, they will give their kids too much, in my opinion, to compensate for under-parenting in other ways. Not saying that they're doing it on purpose, but I've seen parents you know provide you know expensive, uh, gaming systems to occupy time, you know, because they don't know that parenting is like it's a day-to-day thing. You have to do it throughout the day, figure out what they like, and a lot of times we buy these things to babysit our kids and then, if they do something wrong, we take the only thing that they know away and and that's not really parenting, in my opinion. Again, and we have to be a lot more creative. Like, if we take, if we are letting them play a video game and we take it away from them, we have to replace that time with something. And if we don't do that, we're going to expect our kids to get better through punishment, our kids to get better through punishment, and I don't think punishment really corrects any behavior, unless the kid actually knows what they did wrong, because no kid does anything again on purpose to get a consequence that they didn't like in the first place. So just remember that, parents, we need to communicate with our kids on on their level, you know, um, but we have to like be very responsible in how how we use our language. Like I said, our kids they only know what we know, and if you're not an effective communicator, they can misunderstand everything and find themselves in compromising situations and you're like where did you learn this from? And then they don't know how to explain it. And then you know you kind of missed it. You know, and as a parent, we got to take responsibility.
Speaker 1:You know, I've had friends that say, hey, kids are going to do what they're going to do, yeah, but none of them are trying to make you mad, none of them. I know we see it in the movies. It's always something that made them want to do that. But I don't think any kid says I can't wait to make my, my father or my mother mad or my parents mad. It doesn't make sense to me, like, unless it's a joke, but then it's a joke and then it's happy. But overall I don't think, you know, a kid has that much arrogance to say you know what, I'm going to make him mad. And if that's the case, then that's discipline and the consistency of the consequence, because my father definitely scared me enough to know that I wasn't trying to make him mad at any point. So we have to keep that in mind as parents.
Speaker 1:I know a lot of old school parents think about fear is the way. But if you instill fear, they may not come to you for moments when they need the most help. And if they don't come to you for moments where they need the most help, what do you think they're getting the information from? Yeah, they're peer grouped. Last time I checked, not the smartest group of kids on the planet. You know what I'm saying. So I just feel like, as parents, we need to go in with the intent of being tired. They didn't ask to be here and I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 1:I get tired of not knowing enough, because I want them to be able to grow up and say my parents gave me everything I needed. And the biggest fear is like, do we give them too much? Do we take their creativity away? Do we take their confidence away? Uh, do we give them too much of or not enough of something? And I guess, overall, as a parent and that's the journey right, and I love watching other people discuss how they parent, because you only want to be the best version of yourself so you can give your kids a childhood that a child would want, you know, and I know it's got to start somewhere.
Speaker 1:See, this is one thing where you know each generation is supposed to get better, but I think technology is preventing us from getting better in a lot of areas because it's making it so easy to not engage in the actual process of becoming a better parent, family, person, society. You know, I feel like we're disconnected in so many different ways and if we're giving this to our kids, what is the society? What is? What's the world going to be in a world? And I don't know if that's scary or not, I don't know if people were scared before, but you want people to understand the process of how to achieve whatever they think their success is, at the same time, being happy. I believe that happiness is a chosen way of life, that happiness is a chosen way of life and, depending on who your parents are, they can show you how to find happiness, no matter where you are in life.
Speaker 1:And hopefully these episodes at some point will be able to help my kids understand when they get older, because I would love to have been able to ask my father questions with information that I know now, just to see where he was, and I think that every parent should actually have a podcast. You never know. You may like it and, at the same time, if you don't like it, it's a great resource for your kids to have so that they can improve on wherever they are in life, they'll be able to look back. Okay, here's where my parents are. This is what they were thinking, and if you can give that to your kids, they'll come to you no matter what. And again, you have the best information for your kids and if you don't, you know how to find it. So, as a parent, the best thing you can give your kids a partner that you want to do it with and you're willing to build.
Speaker 1:Understand that it's going to take work that you probably haven't seen before, and if you can do that, you're going to create a great example for your kids to be able to find a mate when they get older. You have to give the time it actually takes to parent. You know it's going to tire you, you're going to be bothered by it, but they didn't actually be there. It takes for you to become a better parent is going to be the time where they understand and be able to look back and appreciate the effort that you did to give them the childhood they grew up under.
Speaker 1:Last but not least, communication and try to speak as effectively as possible, because the object is for them to receive the message and if they mess up it's because they didn't understand. None of them are trying to hurt you with the intent of you getting upset, and I don't think we can control our emotions a lot of the time, and if we can't, that means we overreact and we create a fear in our kids where they're afraid to come talk to us. So they're not talking to us, they're talking to their friends, and we don't want that to happen. None of the things that's going to hinder them from being successful. But that's all I got for you today. I really do appreciate all of you guys who stick around seeing how I evolved into this thing. I really enjoy trying to give you guys, I guess, a little more information from what I've learned through this journey that possibly could help any, and everybody know that. As time goes on, I think my background is going to be working on just getting better at life and hopefully I could be an example for somebody that don't have one.
Speaker 1:Y'all make today better than yesterday. Don't worry about anything you can't control. Gata Get after that action or that actual get. Have one Y'all. Make today better than yesterday. Don't worry about anything you can't control. G-a-t-a. Get after that action or that actual get after you Be great on purpose.