growNman
growNman
I am growNman 81 Embracing the Art of Open-Minded Communication: Transforming Barriers into Bridges for Personal and Collective Growth
What if the key to humanity's progress lies in mastering the art of communication? Join me, John D., as I reflect on nearly five decades of life, dissecting the barriers that hinder our understanding and empathy. We've all grown up in diverse environments that shape our perspectives, but without effective communication, these differences can become walls rather than bridges. In this episode, I share my journey and insights on how listening and allowing others to express themselves can lead to stronger relationships and innovative solutions to our collective problems. I also highlight the importance of being intentional about personal growth, health, and teaching, urging you to overcome distractions and focus on self-improvement for a more fulfilling life.
Do you approach conversations with a closed mind or an eagerness to learn? This episode encourages a mindset shift towards open-minded communication, emphasizing the power of asking questions over giving answers. By embracing the potential to be wrong and continuously learning, we can enrich our interactions and grow as individuals. I explore how being present and intentional in our daily lives, without constant worry about the future, can transform personal growth and even human evolution. Remember, G-a-t-a—Get after that action or that action will get after you. Be great on purpose.
what up and welcome back to. I'm growing man. It's your man, john d, in the building a. Um, you know I'll be feeling like me so many days in between videos, but I haven't done a video like this with the intent in a long time. I think I really want this message to get out. I think, uh, I'm getting close, closer to 50. These years have gone by like like I can't even believe it.
Speaker 1:So, said all that the same, I want to just give my take on what I think the largest thing that's preventing mankind from evolving. Just looking throughout history, interacting with the number of people that I've had the opportunity to meet, it's just communication. We are poor communicators. I think that, depending on where you grow up, your environment could cause you to be compromised in an opinion of others and unless you're exposed to that type of lifestyle, you wouldn't ever understand it and you would be on a different side of a fence when, if we just communicated, it would give a broader perspective on where people really are and you'd be like, hey, I didn't even think that people would be subjected to situations that would cause. Whatever view you think you believe in, somebody can have the complete opposite view because they have enough evidence to make them look at it differently than you, and I think that if we communicated more, we would empathize with man and I think we would solve more problems.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I think it's got to be done a certain way because we're caught up in traditional I don't know traditional ways of life. Things can always get better. We can't possibly think that they had it all right. That's crazy, like why? And even if they did have it all right, I mean we can't be satisfied where we are today. People complain about everything and I feel like life isn't about complaining. It's about exploring and mastering the body so that we can understand what was the point of it or try to determine what the point is, because we all know we got to leave at some point, but nobody's trying to figure out why. It's just like a hamster wheel and, being that I'm getting closer to 50, I feel like I have all my bearings. I'm trying to do the best I can.
Speaker 1:As far as health wise, I'm more conscious of what I watch, what I listen to. You know, I'm a teacher and I got to watch the information that I give my students and the information that I give my students. I'm not saying that it's all correct, but I'm saying that I've done enough research where I believe in it, enough to discuss with students about their health and their opportunities ahead of them, the things that they could do if they put that effort, that they hadn't seen before. And I don't think any parent will be disturbed with my message at all. So as I get closer to 50, and when I say that I don't believe that in this body, that you can have all your bearings after a certain age if you're not taken care of, so I'm just stating my opinion and I'm trying to be as intentional as possible.
Speaker 1:With the way that I move through life, I found this is unlimited. When I say it's unlimited, it's I look forward to just being in my day because I get the opportunity to do, to work on so many different things on purpose. Some people may look like that man, that's gotta be tiring. I could see how I would look at it before and be like, yeah, it does look like it's tiring, but when you can, when you know it's for you and that the best thing about this is you can become addicted to becoming a better person, where you just start working on everything and then your environment. It changes your perspective on how you will do life. Instead of complaining, you'll watch other people complain and understand why you were complaining. Not only that, it's a different relief. I think that, depending on where you are in life, if you got time before you got distracted, it's about mastering your body so that you can enjoy, because the distractions is what's really preventing you from enjoying your body, and I think you know how they say the older you get, you get the wisdom. There's so much more we can learn at younger ages if we're willing to be open-minded about new things. I think there's enough information out there where people are enjoying this avatar, those who've gotten to preserve it because they got enough information to grow, those of you that are complaining. I'm working on communication, just so that you can enjoy life a little more. A little more.
Speaker 1:I've broken it down into a lot different things that I feel like that can improve communication. We have to learn to listen, like it's almost like we don't have patience to let a person finish before we're trying to solve their problem, and I used to be really good at that, but in my head I used to say look, I'm just trying to help. I was, I really was. But as you do more research on communication, you find out that some people, in fact majority of mankind, want to find a solution by themselves. They don't want to be told what to do, you know. They want somebody to listen to, you know, just so they can hear themselves. They don't want to be told what to do. They want somebody to listen to, just so they can hear themselves say it out loud. It's so many different things, but we're so quick to cut it off. So our communication practices are bad because we don't know how and when, we don't know how. It sounds like a conflict at some point and then you're on two different sides and you're on the same chain. But that's, that's one thing I really feel like we have to just learn to listen. Like, I think if we can get into the practice waiting for a person to finish speaking and you can't say anything for three seconds, just get in a practice of that. If you can get into the practice of not saying anything silence you may not even have to say anything. You haven't gotten there yet, but even if you are, silence is great Process.
Speaker 1:Typically, if you're at the point where you can listen, you've already gone through the stage of assumptions. You know a lot of times when you assume you could offend the person you're talking to and you didn't even mean to. If you're assuming, still, you're probably not gonna listen. But please do not assume, because everybody didn't grow up like you and there's definitely different reasons why people would do something different. So just be open minded to being wrong. This can all be in your head as you gain new information from whoever you're talking to Believe that they're telling their truth, like whenever we assume that somebody's exaggerating. You're already distracted because if they're giving you their truth, you've already created a biased judgment in the conversations already in a different place. That's hard, though I want you to know. I know that's hard. But when that does happen, ask questions, as as many different questions as possible. Asking questions it'll help you, help them figure it out. Not only that, everybody knows people like to talk about themselves. They'll talk long enough where they'll give you more information.
Speaker 1:In that assumption that you came up with, you wouldn't even have been in the same ball field, same place. You would have saved an argument Like it's a I'm not. Look, I'm not cold like that, but I do get to practice every day, like you know, when you work with middle school kids, the job is to teach them to be better communicators, help them advocate for themselves, create boundaries, you know, while delivering the instruction of math. But I get to practice this and I think adults would be easier to teach. But they have to be open-minded. That it's more than they know and a lot of times I think this is something that I recognize.
Speaker 1:Also, a lot of times people feel like man, I'm this age, I ain't trying to do nothing new. They don't understand. It's once you get the ball rolling, you fall in love with the process. Yes, no matter what age you are, I think that you would rather end the latter part of your life like being happy versus just complaining and talking about. You don't want to do nothing, because then you don't complain and then you don't bring that energy that people think life is supposed to be like that. But I'm telling you this those of you that have functioning bodies, I would do it and I'm telling you that's a generational wealth for your family Better practices.
Speaker 1:It creates an environment where you learn to communicate so effectively where misunderstanding barely happens. Just imagine if that happened throughout the world. We'd be building a lot more than being in conflicts about what they were talking about thousands of years ago or yesterday, we could be building today. We worry about yesterday. I made a mistake yesterday and I didn't know how to tell you and I raised my voice. We got into a conflict and now we're at odds because I'm too stubborn to say I'm sorry. I'm still learning how to communicate and sometimes I raise my voice because you trigger me, because you say these things Like ego and pride are overrated completely because those who have it and talk about it, they're not happy.
Speaker 1:Those who mastered it and balance, they don and talk about it, they're not happy. Those who mastered it and balance, they don't talk about it. You can see it Like that's the unfortunate traditional hand-me-down is the ego and pride for man. We always think we got to be right when we don't know anything. We should be open to being wrong so that we can learn everything that's coming to us, because everything can get better, everything. And we're stubborn for the wrong reasons. You can be stubborn for something you believe in, but being stubborn because somebody said that's what they did before or that's how we learned it or that's what was in this book, that's pregnancy, like it can get better. We can't possibly think that they were that much better than us now. Like, there are so many other books that you know you could do research on and to get a better perspective. Look, I'm not saying, do anything that you don't believe in, but you can always improve. And that's through to me communication. If we learn how to communicate, peace would be a lot closer.
Speaker 1:And people say you know you can't always have peace, why not? Like I don't understand, like I don't want to hurt you. So you're telling me I have to hurt you. Why somebody got to want to hurt me. I come in peace. You know what I'm saying. Like I feel like you can have conflict, but you don't have to disturb a peace where you want to hurt somebody. You know what I'm saying? Like there's different ways we can handle it. Like if you can't communicate, that's where violence come in. Because, look, I want none of the problems, nothing, not. Look, I don't want my body language to have any type of aggressive attitude toward it where anybody can take it the wrong way. I don't want none of the problems. I come in peace. You're telling me that other people don't want that. And it was like you know what I'd rather like worry if I'm going to die tomorrow. You want to worry about that Like I don't care, why? Like I feel like your environment can make you feel like you don't care. So we have to communicate so we can come in peace.
Speaker 1:I do want to say that if you talk to a person and you don't understand, you ask questions. If you ask enough questions, they'll hear, but you have to know what questions to ask. I get that. Let's just practice with. Why do you feel that way? Or how did you get to that point? What have you been doing up until this point? What's worked? What do you think worked? Why do you think it didn't work? And I'm just shooting out questions that could help you gather more information before you come up with a conclusion, because your conclusion may not be theirs. I don't want you to get past. I don't want you to lose the trust you're building through the conversation, and I don't know if people are going to think this is manipulation or anything, but I do believe that man is. They want to find their way.
Speaker 1:Sometimes, when trying to give answers, it's like telling people what to do, and I'm just learning this myself. So it's like you know, if you ask questions and you learn to ask better questions, the person that's receiving the information, which would be both of you, are going to learn so much more about how to approach the next conversation and even on how you move through life. Because I'm telling you, being open-minded to being wrong is probably the best growth mechanism you could have throughout communication. And I know that I'm so far away from that because I feel like I've covered so much information that I always feel like I got to know it. This time and I go in it and I can even say, let's say, hypothetically, I do know it, I knew I was right, but I don't want the mindset of that. I want to be open-minded that I can be wrong, because I want to gain more information, because maybe I just haven't met that person, but I don't want to assume that somebody else's story I already figured it out because then that doesn't make life fun.
Speaker 1:Like you gotta like approach every situation like you're learning for the first time and and if you approach it with being open minded to being wrong, asking questions and just just listening, learning to process, that's one thing. We don't know the capabilities of our brain and some of us think that we're smarter than others, because of whatever reasons, but nobody wants to be paid to be stupid. Their experiences put them where they are, you know, and, depending on their teachers or whoever their influences are, could be very strong. Just be grateful, you're where you are and maybe you can give a few words to help them to become closer to where you feel like it'll help them grow, and it could be just listening. Just listening and asking some questions, not giving them an answer. I don't want people to think that I'm on here like saying, hey, he think he got the answers. No, I don't, I don't. But I'm just trying to translate a lot of the information that I've learned and try to give back to those who may be looking for ways to improve on a day to day basis.
Speaker 1:Because if you worry about next year, the end of the year, the next holiday, this weekend, you miss it out, like today's the only day that matters. Like if you do, everything you're supposed to do today, tomorrow is already taken care of because you're going to create this routine. But if you're worried about something that's not even close to happening, you're missing the moment. Like now, everybody said you got to be present, you got to be in the moment, like you got to be in the moment. If you're not intentional, you're in a hamster wheel. How about that? And then that goes for everybody.
Speaker 1:Listen, be open to being wrong. Ask questions. Do not assume. Ask enough questions where both of you learn how a conversation can explore so many different ways. Both of you will learn. You will remember that experience. You have nice things to say about what you learned when you just go back and reflect. Communication will change the evolution of man, if we ever learn how to properly do so. Y'all made today better than yesterday. Don't worry about anything you can't control. G-a-t-a Get after that action or that action will get after you. Be great on purpose, boom.