growNman
growNman
I am growNman 79
Reflecting on my own childhood experiences, I emphasize the importance of nurturing family relationships and the daily efforts required to maintain them. The episode underscores the joy that comes from prioritizing family over external distractions and practicing proactive communication. Hear how modeling healthy relationships can create a lasting legacy of emotional well-being for future generations. Just like Steve Kerr's dedication to perfecting his three-point shots, we discuss the continuous effort needed to be a better partner. Get inspired with motivational advice on making each day better than the last, focusing on what you can control, and taking actions that lead to a fulfilling life.
what up, though, and welcome back to I'm growing man, sherman, john d in the building. Uh, good afternoon everybody. Um school year's winding down, I'm really excited. I'm working summer school, gonna continue to work on my craft, continue to work on my craft, continue to work on my craft to try to become a better teacher so that students can receive the message and the message is just, you know, becoming a better math student, because I'm going to give them everything I got anyway, but this math is something I want to give them as a second language. So I've adopted more practices so that I can become better in my craft and hopefully, you know, the next group of students will get a lot more than I was given this year, because I hadn't taught in like 12 years it's a long time and I felt like I cheated them in so many ways, because teaching is way tougher than I remember. But they got a teacher just committed. So that's what I'm on, but I wanted to talk about relationships.
Speaker 1:I think I figured out what's the key to a successful relationship. Without this, you can't get to where I'm talking about. It's the friendship. Think about your best friend, if it's not your spouse, and think about everything you've told your best friend. Now the relationship you should have with your spouse should be that on crack. When I say she should know or he should know everything, I know why people don't give that to people. That's a level of vulnerability that you've seen people get hurt from and you're only protecting who you can protect and that's you. But you can't get to this place that I'm talking about without working on this friendship. If you can keep something knowingly away from your spouse or the person you want to be with, you can't get here, like I know.
Speaker 1:A lot of times people say I'm doing it for their own good. You know they don't. They wouldn't be able to handle it. All of that should have been taken care of before the relationship started. But if you're here and we're here here, you can't get here without coming clean and I'm not gonna lie, that's that's got to be a tough pill to swallow.
Speaker 1:Whatever you kept away from your spouse, because when you get married you have no idea that you guys are looking at things totally different. You think you're looking at the same because you say these words, but there's so many different ways you grow up, you guys grew up differently. You don't even know you're supposed to create experiences so that you can create a new set of rules for your family. You're not supposed to, like you know, carry on tradition in the way that it's not supposed to grow. You should be in the mindset of always growing, trying to find a better way, like there's always a better way Idea.
Speaker 1:To think that something worked 20 years ago, that it can improve, is crazy. Everything can get better, you know, and if you're not open to being completely open with your partner, it's very difficult to this place that I'm talking about Like I've never read about it, you know, I don't know anybody who talks about being in this place that I look at this relationship and I'm, like some people, like why would I even want to get there? You know, I think I can put it into some words now. You know, before I wouldn't, and one and I wouldn't believe it, nor think it was possible. But I enjoy every day I wake up on purpose. I'm committed to an intentional type behavior where I'm being nice and loving. I'm trying to learn the way that she wants to feel comfortable. I got her, you know, and I hardened my wife over the years, but now I can see that I believe she's softer than she has ever been, and maybe that's just because I'm more aware. But now it's like I want her to enjoy life the way that I do, like I could not be here without her, like my wife gives me a set of eyes and makes me feel more confident in decisions I make. Like when you're single or if your best friend is not your spouse, you're more likely to not even understand anything I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:And I believe that I wake up with a routine of trying to get better, and my wife is just a casualty of that. Anything. When I'm at home, I'm trying to see how I can at least make her smile, give her something that made her think twice. I didn't look at it that way and to me it's purposefully creating these experiences with her, because the more she learns about me, the more she compliments. You know, like it's less likely for her to get me upset, become a master of your emotions. People can say things to trigger certain behaviors that may have stemmed as far as childhood, and I get it. But she doesn't deserve any of that and I still haven't figured it out. But I'm constantly getting better and I know that it's getting better because our disagreements or I don't want to say arguments, but when we like at odds in and because we're not seeing, clearly, it's a lot. It's a lot more peaceful when we're trying to figure out what the disconnect is.
Speaker 1:Before it was like it had to be this way, and I know it's all me, I get it, but I'm just saying like, in order to get to this place, you have to believe it's worth getting there. When I tell you that I don't, I don't really care about weekends, although I enjoy weekends because I work, but I really enjoy my days, like right now we're in the early part of the evening and I'm shooting, and like I'm thinking about like I get to spend time with my family still. So it's like I'm caught up in the moment. You know what I'm saying. But right now it's like to appreciate. Now is a different feeling that I don't see a lot of men talk about. If they're there and I feel like, since I'm here, if somebody would tell me about this place and they made it attractive enough, I would want to get there.
Speaker 1:So this information is just for people who are looking for a relationship that makes you appreciate today Like we're constantly trying to remove the distractions in our life right and until you remove the ones that could hinder your progress as a husband or father, you're endangering your legacy every second, because anything can happen and depending on the information you believe, think you have with your spouse, your relationship, it grows exponentially. It really does Like. I was just looking at me and my wife will be 16 in a few weeks and these last three or four years I have so many more memories in these last three or four years. I have so many more memories in these last three or four years and we haven't done anything, with just kind of like we moved in the house but we haven't done as many things as previously. And now it's like it's an everyday occurrence. Anything can happen and I think that's what life's about being able to enjoy it with somebody that can appreciate everything about you. And that's a different maturity, because if you're constantly being distracted from what you really want, sometimes I guess people think their distractions is what they really want. So I just, I just want to address, get on here and let everybody know that in order to get to a place in your relationship, there has to be a friendship created that makes you look forward to finding a different way to make them smile or make them feel appreciated because everything's okay.
Speaker 1:I grew up in a household where my father said he went to work to get peace and my mama worked all the time. I just thought that I wouldn't want to be in the house because I wouldn't want to lose that moment. But I lost so many moments because I was trying to protect something that I didn't know how to protect. I'm blessed to still have my health and I can just appreciate now. So that's all I'm doing, to giving you guys a few words that maybe can get you look forward to a beautiful relationship with somebody. It's like a lifetime journey and when you guys truly enjoy each other's company, it's crazy, I guess. I'm sorry, I thought I was more articulate, but I really feel like as I continue to work on communication, I'll be able to break it down where maybe people would look forward to working on a relationship. You know, like now I know that me and my wife are in a place that only death can break. I really feel that.
Speaker 1:I feel like I recognize all the distractions of the world and none of them are more important than what I'm building and I see that my happiness is at an all time high. I'm not chasing money. I'm not chasing a position, a title. All I'm doing is just trying to get better, and it's made everything around me exponentially more fulfilling my daytime job. My students even know how I feel, like they know. I'm always happy. You know what I'm saying and the administrators and my team other teachers they see it. I go home to a beautiful family where I'm trying to create new experiences and build a better relationship than the one that I grew up in and to just see what it could continue to grow. My kids are going to leave soon and then I'll be stuck with my best friend, so we're going to use all of these moments to experience with our kids as much as possible and hopefully, as I continue to mature, I'll be able to show why a relationship, single-handedly, is the best thing that you could be in, if it can make you, if it can make you feel the way that I feel, like I don't think there's anything better than the feeling that I have and it's mine and this is what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:I work on it every day. It's like I keep using. This was just this analogy with Steve Kerr, and it was like Steve Kerr shoots more threes at practice than anybody. That's the reason why he's better than everybody. Like I continuously try to find ways to become a better husband. Like I already know that I'm better than a lot of husbands, but none of those husbands are working on what I'm working on, because if they were, they wouldn't be working on ways to get better, you know. So I'm intentionally trying to get better because I want to get better, just like Steve uh, stephen Curry wants to. You know, kill the threes and put the. Put basketball to a different position in in sports. Like I want to do that.
Speaker 1:For relationships. I've done a lot of things in life and nothing is better than this relationship that I've created with my wife, and I'm so happy my kids get to watch it. They get to see what a healthy relationship look like. They can see us have conversations about things that we don't agree on and how you handle it with people who are mature enough to have conversations. And I feel like this is the generational wealth that I was referring to in a few episodes ago, where, when you can give this to your kids, I think they are able to find the energy that can complement them so that they can create their own relationship whenever that happens.
Speaker 1:But friendship is essential to the soul. That's that's. That's deeper than it's deeper than that. If you can create a friendship with your wife where she knows everything. I mean, there are gonna be things that she's not gonna know because you don't remember. But if you remember and you can share, I'm telling you you create a different type of bond that this work happened. So, as you guys continue to work on your relationships, become better people, better men, better women understand if you're a parent, somebody's watching and if you have bad practices, they don't know that they're bad practices. You know what I'm saying? Like that's just what mom and dad did. So be prepared to explain bad practices or change your behavior so they have something better to model after. Y'all make today better than yesterday. Don't worry about anything you can't control. G-a-t-a Get after that action or that action won't get after you. Be great on purpose.