growNman
growNman
I am growNman 76 Embracing the Virtue of Commitment: The Transformative Power of Dedication in Personal Growth and Community Impact
Ever stepped back and considered the sheer power of commitment? My wife joined me in the studio, and we unwrapped the layers of how dedication and follow-through are the unsung heroes of personal growth, with the potential to create a ripple effect beyond our own lives. We dove into the intricate ways in which our upbringing molds our adult choices, reflecting on my own transition from seeking shortcuts to embracing the role of a responsible role model. This candid exchange reveals how our actions can extend beyond personal gain, leaving imprints on our family and the broader community, spurring a deeper sense of responsibility and purpose.
The journey to excellence is not about accolades; it’s about the pursuit of betterment in every slice of life. Together, we discussed the rewards that come from giving your all, the notion that age is no barrier to ambition, and how healthy choices can ensure we remain pillars of strength for our loved ones. This episode is a treasure chest of insights on the transformative impact of preparation, the identification of one's strengths, and how these elements forge not just a confident individual, but a communicator and educator ready to pass on their wisdom.
Navigating the murky waters of past pains is far from easy, yet it's a voyage that's essential for growth. In sharing my own transition towards more enriching activities like basketball and chess, I've discovered the value in selective content consumption, and how it fosters personal development. We also bridge the generational divide, advocating for empathy toward the youth who are carving out their own value systems in a rapidly changing world. It's a heartfelt reminder that our growth doesn't just build our self-assurance; it equips us to handle life's unpredictable nature with resilience and grace.
what up, though, and welcome back to I'm growing man. It's your man, john d, in the building. Uh, want to say good morning. Uh, so far this morning has been a great reflective morning for me, and yesterday I had the opportunity to ask my wife if she thought I was good at anything. And yesterday I had the opportunity to ask my wife if she thought I was good at anything what, what is it and what should it look like?
Speaker 1:She thinks that I have an uncanny ability of doing things that I say I'm going to do, and I think that I think everybody has that have that ability. And she was like if you could show other people how to execute that, I think it would change the world, and I don't know. I guess I can say when I was little, I wasn't the smartest, but I wanted to be the smartest, but I just didn't know how to do it, and I always found shortcuts to like to give me the results I was looking for, and it got to a point where it stopped, where it kind of stagnated and, um, I can't explain it, but I felt like I was. I guess I can't explain it. I was in the hamster wheel and I didn't know how to get out of it and had a reflection of how did I get to that point and you know a lot of things I wasn't the happiest about, you know, like looking back and like why did I take that route? Like what made me start thinking that way and just kept going further and further back, and then you know, at the end of the day, is behaviors from when you were a kid.
Speaker 1:You know the way that you were raised, from your parents uh, supervision, lack of supervision, you know, because they were trying to figure it out too right. You know, at least in my generation, the group of people that I grew up with, you know they were trying to figure it out too right. At least in my generation, in the group of people that I grew up with, you know, we had parents trying to figure it out. Some was a little more advanced than others and some, you know, was trying to figure it out, you know, and I think now I'm in a place where I could look back and be like I get it and I think that that's how I was leaving my household at one point and I think my wife was getting tired, you know. I guess you know our positions in this marriage got too heavy for her and, by the grace of God, I was able to figure some things out and find a better version of me, the me that I'm comfortable with giving the world.
Speaker 1:You know, before I used to think I was supposed to be like big. I used to think I was supposed to have this and that, like what have I done? I hadn't done anything, nothing. And you know, in this last five years I've done more in this last five years that I've done in my previous 41, as far as just growth and from where I started and where I am and what made this transition easy.
Speaker 1:You know how they say when you, you know you do better. You got to know how, you got to understand why you're doing it and if you could look past, if you could look past the selfish part of you and like, what are you creating? If it goes bad, like nobody's life is perfect, right, but if you're doing anything that could disrupt the way that you're living, you are going to create a butterfly effect that you would have wished you looked for more answers for, you wish you would have had somebody to give you a little bit for you to understand and the reason why, I know, is because I was confidently living my life. I really thought that's. I think that's the reason why God just blessed me with a lot of bad decision making. Well, he blessed me from having some consequences that could have prevented me from getting here, because I was, I was reckless, I was, and you know it's safe to say that at least now I have better answers for my kids. I have better answers for my kids. You know I don't have all the answers, but it's not good. Like I don't think me delivering any type of message is going to get lost in translation with them, because I understand that kids don't want to fail.
Speaker 1:I know that our kids are going to have their hiccups, but the way that I grew up, it was tough, you know, uh, and it wasn't like I wasn't happy at all when I was little. You know it was just with my friends occasionally, but I really had like a mentally tough childhood and I think I stopped crying for real like at seven and then you know I would I don't think I cried like for a very, very long time after that and I was just hearted in areas, but I was still this confident person that I was moving through life the best way possible In comparison to now, like my life was just changed so much more because I have a friend that likes to make up stories about how we met. I was like it didn't happen that way. He was like but what stories sound better? And then I started thinking about my life. You know, like, if you do anything that could corrupt what you think you're building, what story sounds better? That you figured it out or you fell off and created a butterfly effect of hopefully your kids will figure it out, and this goes to both parents.
Speaker 1:But I have the confidence, like now, that I'm intentionally trying to find ways to become a better husband and a better father, and the confidence that I've had throughout life. I felt like if somebody would teach me how to do it, I'm going to do it and for the most part, I achieved it through life. I worked hard to a degree, but it wasn't anything that I felt like nothing that was going to put me on a path of just working hard like go the long road, like now. I see I miss so many messages. I miss so many messages because I cheated Like it wasn't, like I don't want to say like I cheated, like I stole exams or anything like that? No, I didn't do anything like that, but I didn't. I didn't put 100 effort into myself and if I knew the process, if somebody would have taught me and and kind of like told me why, hey, you probably should go the long way. You learn so much more you know you're not gonna like it and when you go through it, but if you learn the entire process, you don't. You don't achieve anything. You get the messages and it's a different appreciation for life. So where I am as far as confidence growing up, like I always thought like something was gonna kick in, like I was gonna get a growth spurt or you know, something was just like I was just gonna wake up like smart. I didn't know that anything you want, you gotta work for it. There's a process on.
Speaker 1:Some people don't realize that if you work hard every day not hard as in labor, hard, I mean like you want to get the job done to the point where you're giving your best, every single like, you're gonna get noticed. And then people notice people who do things better than others. And I think a lot of times we got caught up in because we work somewhere the longest. That that's a great thing. Like, why didn't you move up and you don't have to move up because you can always say no but why aren't you being approached to move up all the time where you can say no? I'm really happy with what I'm doing Because in my mind, if you were giving me 100% effort, you're supposed to be coded. Whatever you're doing, in your relationship, your kids, with your job, with your free time. Like you have to think about if you code in anything, what are you cold at and the things that I name. I feel like that's really a man of my age should be balancing his family, his relationships with his kids and his wife, spouses, and your job, and then your free time should be dedicated to yourself. Whatever you want to do, as long as it's not compromising what you're trying to create, go be great for real. For real. For real, because life is about what story sounds better. I'm really off that.
Speaker 1:I'm like I told my friends a long time ago I was trying to live the 160. It was like john is like impossible. I'm like why? Like do we know anybody who's been practicing better dietary food and been practicing better dietary restrictions? Like now that we have all of this information. I'm not saying I'm going exactly by anything because we still don't know, but the people that's been dying has been eating. You know whatever they. You know whatever they were eating in that area.
Speaker 1:I don't think that just going off of the information that I believe in, you know, I think that we have as much information as as ever, you know, and we can research other people's cultures and see how, what they've been eating and what's been working, and we can actually take this and that and combine it, create whatever we think. But at the end of the day, like I just feel, like with the information that we have today and I believe, if I continue to find ways to improve my life, as long as you know, god forbid anything bad happens, but my body don't start breaking down. You know I go to the doctor and we catch anything possible and I know anything can happen. But I'm going to do everything and whatever it's going to take to try to learn as much as possible so that I can help evolve mankind. That's my confidence. My confidence is because everybody say you can be whatever you want.
Speaker 1:Well, I want to be the coldest husband and the coldest father ever, coldest communicator Shoot. I mean, if I lived to 160, I should probably be right Like nobody's lived that long. But let's, if I lived to 160, I should probably be right Like nobody's lived that long. But let's say, if I don't live that long, it feels great to just be on a mission that nobody's done and it's not hurting anybody. It makes me feel like I'm fulfilling. I'm filled with like. It's intoxicating to like get better. It's intoxicating to get better and the better I get in my quest to find more answers, my kids are watching. I'm trying to develop this relationship where everything that I learn I can give them. I have this great routine that they're aware of and at some point, you know it's going to develop a fruit that they like and they're going to be like oh, you know, I want that and they're going to have the ingredients and doing the research on people who are really great in their craft. They work on their craft every day.
Speaker 1:I feel like nobody talks about being a father and a husband on purpose every day and I feel like I've become a better man, where it's removed a lot of distractions in my life and it's caused me to want to be a better teacher, you know and I get to practice communication like try to give these kids, you know, like I don't know if you've ever thought about when, when you were a kid, wish you had that one person. If you did have that one person, I never had that one person. So just imagine you're that kid that you wish you could have said somebody was hey, come here, man, I like your style, I want you to hang with me, I'm going to put you up under my wing. Like I wanted to be spoon fed that way. So I didn't get that opportunity to do that. So me, I feel like I want to spoon feed as many people as I can along the way. Specifically, I'm a teacher. So it's like I'm spoon feeding these kids the information I've learned in my lifetime to give to them so that maybe that seed can develop into something that they wouldn't have had if I didn't teach them. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Like I know that my life has been filled with wonderful experiences and it's my job to try to give them as much as I can. And I'm confident in that walk. So I felt like, like I said when I was little, walking with a confidence was because I felt like if somebody showed me how to do it. I was going to do it and I'm going to work to try to be better than that person. But you know, it was like as I looked through my life, I was continuously moving and finding, you know like, different things to do so that I could sharpen my swords, but I was lollygagging and distracted by a lot of things that could have destroyed everything. But now you know, like I'm going to work on communication and you know like what I'm trying to show my son. Your confidence comes from your preparation.
Speaker 1:Like I know what my wheelhouse is, or my wheelhouse are wheelhouse. I know what my wheelhouses are, I know what my wheelhouses are and I stay in that and it's like this is what I believe in. This is what I talk about. If it can help me, if it can help you, if it can help us, if it can help our families, if it can help people, if it can help people feel happier, safer, stronger, more confident, if it can make people more optimistic that's my wheelhouse. I love that optimistic. That's my wheelhouse. Like I love that. And you know what is I? I?
Speaker 1:When you're really good at what you do, people come with new information and you get, get excited about adding to your wheelhouse. You don't argue with them and say that doesn't work. You know you like you, you work with these people and you're like, dang, that's, that's tight, did you consider doing this? And it builds a relationship. It builds a rapport that people can share things with you and you get ideas from other people that you can incorporate in your own daily routines. That puts you in a position of life that you would have never done if you didn't share. You know and it if you just work on yourself.
Speaker 1:People ask you questions. They really do. They ask you questions and you know you probably don't want to be bothered, but if you living the life you want to live, wouldn't you want to share with people? Or you could live selfishly, and I don't think anybody really wants to do that, unless they were compromised as a child and maybe they need to deal with that and we understand that. I'm just like I said. This is about helping people and I know everybody is in different places and I would love for everybody to get to get to that peace that you can enjoy everything right now and you don't have to worry about tomorrow or next week or that vacation. It's like you just enjoy the moment and if we can get people to consider how important they are, they would find ways to get better and hopefully over the course of time.
Speaker 1:As I work on communication, oh, this is one thing I can say in my opinion a lot of times people are a lot closer to the breakthrough than they are to just falling completely off. I mean, they're closer to the breakthrough but they'll find that comfort. So it's almost like the marathon, where you run into that wall, you get comfortable and you just like fall off. But you'd say, ok, I know I can do this, but you don't keep working on your craft until you break through and then it's a different fruit up here. And when I say it's a different fruit, like you smile different. It's an energy that's hard to explain, but if you're really working on yourself, you'll get addicted to it because you are, because you haven't seen yourself at its most improved state, because that's constantly evolving. So if you're not working on yourself every day, you felt comfort and you don't realize what it could look like if you just believed you were that important.
Speaker 1:So as I continue with these episodes, I want you guys to know that the whole purpose of me coming out with I'm Growing man was to show people that how you could just evolve into whatever you want. If you go back to my very first video, they started out with like three minutes. I wasn't even looking at the camera, I was on my phone and I was just putting out three minute pieces. Then it just grew to the point where I felt like I was getting more confident in things that I was researching and I guess the results from me just putting my best foot forward in every part of my life, like the parts of my life that I consider important right now, like I don't want anybody to think, like I've like removed myself from society, like I just focused a lot of my attention that was going out side of my home, inside, and I just see how much better the process of life is now. Once you get this going and you understand some different appreciation because you can see if you wouldn't layer your own onion it's the greatest piece you will ever find. So check this out.
Speaker 1:There's a pain that everybody has to go through, but if you don't go through it, you won't ever understand why you had to go through it. All the pain is worth it when you understand the pain you got. You're not going to ever go back that way because you already understand. But it's worth going through. I'm not saying that somebody smack you any physical, I'm just saying, like the stuff that you swept under the rug and not dealt with anymore, just moved on from it, go, unlayer it, find out why you had to go through it, go find the message. Just reflect right. Like you have no idea. You have all the answers. No lie like man, I'm telling you. I was just telling my wife.
Speaker 1:I remember when I first started like this routine and I'm just looking at my stuff I was just this was the day I said I wasn't going to watch another show, watch anything outside of the game of basketball. So I love basketball and I didn't even watch a whole game anymore. Shout out to two people that make clips of 10 minute games 10 to 15 minute games, save so much time. But I said that I didn't deserve to watch other people's shows anymore. Keep up with anything. Like I was like I was just too average out here and I was like how can you be so confident being average? I had to figure out how I was gonna stop being average and then I started really locking in on the things that I was watching. If it didn't have anything to do with my health my communication being a better father, a better husband, like I said, basketball I wasn't watching it. I was getting rid of this stuff. And then I started incorporating chess, art, like anything that could season me as a well-rounded man. You know like I wanted to have culture with just the understanding of like, why people like things, the things that can't help me understand, like even music. I I switched over to classical music. Like.
Speaker 1:Rarely do I listen to music with words and, of course, if it is, it's gonna be hip-hop for sure. Um, but I I'm very selective in what I listen to when it comes to that. If somebody's talking about somebody's code, I want to check them out because I believe in communication. Sometimes, just listen to how people put words together to describe something that you have no idea, you gotta like visualize it. It makes you feel like, wow, people can make a story out of words rhyming in a, with a cadence, and it's like, although, like hey, they so cold at an early age.
Speaker 1:But now I understand why people talk about people who don't appreciate the art of the pen. People just want to get paid and people don't like that, like to like taking advantage of not really putting the work in. I get it. I didn't. I didn't understand it at one point, but I get it now and I think that the people that come in and get it for the money, you got to understand they were compromised and they didn't. They didn't learn it the way that you learned it and I feel like we'd be beating up the youth when they didn't grow up like us. You know and like expect them to be responsible in an area that they have no idea why they should be responsible, like they felt, like they put the work in they didn't know, like there's a different appreciation that you feel like is more important than them. Just, you know getting out of whatever they were living in.
Speaker 1:So that's all I'm saying. We got to be better and when you're better, you create a preparation that you can become more confident as you walk. So work on yourself every day, on purpose, and you'll create a fruit. You know you'll kick a little love. I really believe that y'all make today better than yesterday. Don't worry about anything. You can't control G-A-T-A Get after that action or the action will get after you Be great on purpose Boom.